Interdependence

Interdependence.  It's a word that is fairly foreign to our American vocabulary.  We know what it means to be dependent--to rely on the assistance of others--such as being considered a dependent on someone's taxes (as I am on Doug's since I've not brought home a paycheck in a number of years). 

We know too very well what it means to be independent.  Independence is the goal. It is the desire. We see it as synonymous with successful or healthy or able.  Americans covet those words and use them to define themselves.  One who is not independent is one who is weak, struggling, unvalued. 

Yet, over the past few weeks the Lord has reminded me that in Genesis, He created the entire universe.  He created all things, including space and water and plants and animals, and then finally man.  He called all of them 'good' until He noted that Adam's being alone was 'not good'.  Not good.  God does not want us to be alone.  He does not want us to be independent.  He does not call that good.  If we are alone, it's actually bad. 

Instead of being alone, much of His word reminds us that He wants us to live in community with others.  He wants us to seek the counsel of others, to marry if he calls us to it, to care for the orphans and widows, to invest in those who have little, to love our neighbor as ourselves, and to seek Him always.  In fact, if we are living as an island unto ourselves, we are operating in a not-good manner. 

This has been foremost on my mind lately because living in a foreign land makes it absolutely obvious that we Americans falter greatly when it comes to living interdependently with others.  You see, when Americans (namely me) move overseas, they become subject to many new situations, new challenges, new cultural norms, new food, a new language, and many other new things that demand a response.  One becomes acutely aware that the old ways of doing things are obsolete.  New ways must be forged.  But, how?  How does one say hello, how much does that cost, my name is, I need help?  Where does one buy milk, medicine, bread, toilet paper, candy?  How does one hook up a telephone, gas tank, water heater?  How does one make empanadas, arroz con pollo, jugo de naranja?  Where are the safest restaurants, stores, coffee houses?  How does one catch a bus, taxi, boat, plane? 

There are no feelings of "I've got this" here.  I've so don't "got this".  I need people, and lots of them.  I've had to ask people in Quito five hours away to bring me a long list of things from the SuperMaxi (grocery store) when they come this way.  I've had to confess that we have been battling lice for a month, have tried multiple anti-lice shampoos, and need some sort of solution so that we can get rid of them completely.  I've had to ask for a lift to Puyo, the neighboring town, so that I could get groceries which we lacked.  I've had to petition neighbors for recipe ideas since our food items are limited and I've run out of creativity a month in.  I've had ask the favor of a friend who is returning to the US if she wouldn't mind taking my letters and cards with her when she goes so that they'll be mailed in the states instead of from here.  And, just to be clear, I've had to ask for each of these things multiple times from multiple people.  I need help.

And that's not just my issue.  It's the issue of my husband too.  Doug's had to ask for help getting rid of the termites in Seth's bedroom door, getting the gas tank hooked and unhooked so we could get hot water back into our house, fixing the weedeater when it breaks down, asking for things in the store because he lacks the vocabulary, repairing his bicycle which is becoming his major mode of transportation--when it works, getting to the school when it's pouring down rain and he'd be soaked if he took the semi-trustworthy bike.  His list goes on too...

What that does is makes one very humble, very aware of neediness, very aware of how limited we are alone, how we could never get every thing accomplished on our own.  It's a hard thing, this being an independent American living in a foreign land.  Praise God that He's told us from the beginning that we are to live in community, in families, in churches, in schools, in groups, in teams, etc. 

Thankfully the Hispanic culture is all about community.  See, they've already got this thing sorted out.  They work together and cheer each other on naturally.  We're the odd balls.  So, when I seem lost and in need of help, they are not put out in the least to give me a hand.  They are instead thinking it strange that we attempt things on our own or keep to ourselves.  Silly Americans. 

So, all of this is to say that my learning interdependence is a tough lesson but, Wow, it would be tougher to not learn it (to have lice any longer than we have already, no food, letters that never made it home, perpetual cold showers, termites, long wet walks in the rain, etc.).  What do you need help with and are too 'independent' to ask for it?  Depend on someone...it may just bless you...

Blessings, kim