We have a little more than six weeks left before we travel back to the US for what we believe is a permanent move. At this point in the journey, most would be pulling out suitcases, finding things to give away, selling those lesser-needed items, and clearing out spaces to be tidied up. In our house, we have slowly begun to do these things. Doug's developed a list of items for sale and has alerted those among us that we're ready to release some of our possessions.
For example, Jacobey sold his seven inch jungle knife just yesterday. (If we'd taken it to the States, it would have been considered a weapon, and we would have been considered nuts to have allowed our eleven year old to bear arms. You know though, when in Rome.....) I've already given away the shoes that Darius grew out of before he wore them very much; I figured my Ecuadorian friend's grandson would appreciate them more than Jacobey would two years from now when he finally grows into them. The list goes on and on.
So, some of these tasks have begun to get our attention. We're pondering what to keep, what to leave, what to sell, what to give away. All lists, except for the first, are fairly long. Yet, it is not just material possessions that have captured our focus for these remaining weeks. Doug and I have found ourselves shifting from the physical to the emotional, the mental, the spiritual. We now are more attuned to what we will be taking with us in our hearts, minds, and spirits. These are the greater things. And, we are more attuned to what we will be leaving behind....
For one, I noticed my husband (I'm having a hard time not crying as I write this) just a couple of days ago allow someone to completely disrespect him. The person informed him of their dislike for him in no uncertain terms and in their unwillingness to come to resolution with him. My husband's response? He completely forgave, did not hold a grudge, chose to serve the person anyway, and is not devastated by the entire situation! I see my man has chosen the better way. He's chosen the way of Christ--a by far much, much harder thing to do than to be resentful and overwhelmed with anger and hatred. Doug's therefore chosen to leave behind baggage that has no benefit for us as we move away. He has been molded into a stronger follower of the One who moved us here in the first place. After all that he's experienced, my sweet husband still chooses to say,
...I am blessed to have eaten lunch with my wife and kids every day.
...I am blessed to have spent time folding clothes, doing dishes by hand, and serving my family in many chores.
...I am blessed to have gone without a car, a big house, a yard so that I could spend more time just with my family.
...I am blessed to have worked at a job that took me out of my comfort zone so that I could learn much more about schooling younger kids.
...I am blessed to have served and worked with others who did not know me or appreciate me so that I could learn how to work for the Lord and not for man.
...I am blessed to have known little Spanish in a place where it is necessary so that I could see what others experience.
My husband chooses to see this trial as one that blessed him rather than disabled him. I'm so proud of such a man! We truly will return different people...
Praise God.
Blessings, kim
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Grace and More Grace
I think I mentioned in our last posting that we had had a wonderful time in Cuenca, a more modern, clean, mountainous city here in Ecuador which happens to be about an eight hour bus ride away from our small town of Shell. As mentioned, though we had fully enjoyed our time there, we certainly struggled to enjoy the journey there (cramming the six of us into four seats for an eight hour overnight bus ride) and the preparation for the journey back (having our scheduled driver cancel his services the night before our departure). Yet, I am really happy to report that neither of these two things have diminished our fondness for the place or for the memories we made. In fact, Doug and I chatted this weekend about how easy it was for us to forgive and move on from the whole affair. We both knew that we could have easily held a grudge or smoldered in anger for a number of hours if not days regarding these wrongs done to us. We certainly had "the right" to do so. In spite of that fact, tt's funny--neither of us kept our anger and we both agreed to put the issue aside. It almost was as if we chose not to invest any further emotional energy in the wrong. We ceased to allow it to drain us or distract us or annoy us.
Hmm. I know I've walked this path before in having to decide whether to forgive someone or not. My husband, my kids, my parents, my teammates, my neighbors, my friends, my colleagues, my family members, and on and on and on. People need forgiveness constantly. Constantly. Someone is always falling short, failing, flubbing up. There is constantly someone who needs my forgiveness. Big things, little things, important things (like my reputation or my feelings or my needs), unimportant things, many things. Life simply doesn't happen the exact way I want it to and people get in the way and mess it up. It's inevitable. The more I try to control my day and my expectations and my life, the more I'm going to be disappointed and people are going to mess it up.
If only I choose to let go of my anger, or my disappointment in people, or my need to have life turn out perfectly (or even just as I had planned it out), and instead allow whatever may come to be seen as from the sweet, kind, protective, yet permissive, hand of God, then I don't have to be in charge of every thing that goes on in my life. There CAN be incidences that sidetrack us. There CAN be mess ups and mistakes. There CAN be meanness and hardship and brokenness and rudeness. (There WILL be anyway, regardless of whether I want it to or not.) The only difference is in my attitude about it. If I CHOOSE to know that my Father in heaven is in charge of all things, and that even those things that seemingly hurt or nearly destroy me He's permitted to happen in his infinite wisdom and kindness, then I can stop being so angry with my fellow man. I can rest in the fact that my God's got it all sorted out. If He wants to discipline someone or wants to teach them a lesson, then I don't have to. I don't need to worry with it further. In fact I don't even need to seek the evil of someone who's harmed me or committed ill-will toward me. Why? Because I'm messing with the lives of those who live around me too. I'm disappointing or hurting or getting in the way of the plans and my husband, my kids, my parents, and on and on and on. I too want them to forgive me and not hold my mistakes and sins over my head either.
If I will only choose to let God be in charge of the small and large things of my life (which He's actually in charge of anyway), then I don't need to be emotionally invested in every single wrong done to me. I can really let go of that stress, anger, and all the other emotional baggage that may come with it.
In practicality, when someone at home fails to do his chore, I can give a sweet reminder instead of a heated one. When someone leaves me or my child out of a neat opportunity, I can know that it wasn't meant to be for some reason; something else better must have been in store for us and I don't need to harbor resentment and disappointment. When someone fails to do something kind for me that I really needed or counted on, then I can release them from the burden. When someone says something mean about me or my child, I can lament that they haven't had the time to learn our hearts and our true self, and I can pray that we'll get to know them better and they us. They are not in charge of me or my life--and neither am I. My Daddy is. Praise God that He's forgiven me my umpteenth sin, through Christ's blood, and He's more than able to take care of it all.
May you (and I!!) choose to let God be in charge of teaching lessons and writing wrongs. May He reveal where we are to shoulder a burden and where we are to let it go. May we be convinced of His goodness and of His grace and of His ability to give us so much grace that we've got tons to give to others.
(BTW: If you're looking for a way to shake things up and change the world, then THAT'S how........)
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim
Hmm. I know I've walked this path before in having to decide whether to forgive someone or not. My husband, my kids, my parents, my teammates, my neighbors, my friends, my colleagues, my family members, and on and on and on. People need forgiveness constantly. Constantly. Someone is always falling short, failing, flubbing up. There is constantly someone who needs my forgiveness. Big things, little things, important things (like my reputation or my feelings or my needs), unimportant things, many things. Life simply doesn't happen the exact way I want it to and people get in the way and mess it up. It's inevitable. The more I try to control my day and my expectations and my life, the more I'm going to be disappointed and people are going to mess it up.
If only I choose to let go of my anger, or my disappointment in people, or my need to have life turn out perfectly (or even just as I had planned it out), and instead allow whatever may come to be seen as from the sweet, kind, protective, yet permissive, hand of God, then I don't have to be in charge of every thing that goes on in my life. There CAN be incidences that sidetrack us. There CAN be mess ups and mistakes. There CAN be meanness and hardship and brokenness and rudeness. (There WILL be anyway, regardless of whether I want it to or not.) The only difference is in my attitude about it. If I CHOOSE to know that my Father in heaven is in charge of all things, and that even those things that seemingly hurt or nearly destroy me He's permitted to happen in his infinite wisdom and kindness, then I can stop being so angry with my fellow man. I can rest in the fact that my God's got it all sorted out. If He wants to discipline someone or wants to teach them a lesson, then I don't have to. I don't need to worry with it further. In fact I don't even need to seek the evil of someone who's harmed me or committed ill-will toward me. Why? Because I'm messing with the lives of those who live around me too. I'm disappointing or hurting or getting in the way of the plans and my husband, my kids, my parents, and on and on and on. I too want them to forgive me and not hold my mistakes and sins over my head either.
If I will only choose to let God be in charge of the small and large things of my life (which He's actually in charge of anyway), then I don't need to be emotionally invested in every single wrong done to me. I can really let go of that stress, anger, and all the other emotional baggage that may come with it.
In practicality, when someone at home fails to do his chore, I can give a sweet reminder instead of a heated one. When someone leaves me or my child out of a neat opportunity, I can know that it wasn't meant to be for some reason; something else better must have been in store for us and I don't need to harbor resentment and disappointment. When someone fails to do something kind for me that I really needed or counted on, then I can release them from the burden. When someone says something mean about me or my child, I can lament that they haven't had the time to learn our hearts and our true self, and I can pray that we'll get to know them better and they us. They are not in charge of me or my life--and neither am I. My Daddy is. Praise God that He's forgiven me my umpteenth sin, through Christ's blood, and He's more than able to take care of it all.
May you (and I!!) choose to let God be in charge of teaching lessons and writing wrongs. May He reveal where we are to shoulder a burden and where we are to let it go. May we be convinced of His goodness and of His grace and of His ability to give us so much grace that we've got tons to give to others.
(BTW: If you're looking for a way to shake things up and change the world, then THAT'S how........)
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim
Saturday, April 11, 2015
Cuenca
On Good Friday, after school, I took the bus to Puyo to buy six overnight bus tickets which would take us eight hours away to the city of Cuenca. Cuenca is more in the south central part of Ecuador and sits at 8,000 feet above sea level. It's resides in a valley among mountain tops and really boasts of one of the prettiest skylines in all of this country. Cuenca is clean, big but not too big (like Quito), proud of its heritage, and filled with history. It's now replaced Banos for me as my most favorite city. I'm so glad we went. Yet, as is with everything else that I've put in this blog thus far, there is a story to tell.
When I went to the bus terminal on Friday and asked for tickets for the bus that would depart two days later, the young gentleman there told me that I needn't buy them so early. I could come back on Sunday morning to purchase them. To me, coming two days early to assure that we would get six seats had been a wise thing. And, who wants to travel half an hour away to buy bus tickets on Easter morning? I'd rather spend the time with my family and enjoy a less rushed time prior to going to church. So, reluctantly, the man sold me two adult and four children's tickets and asked for my phone number so he could call if there arose any trouble. I kind of scratched my head and thought, "I bought tickets. Why would there be any trouble with that?"
Well, sure enough, on Easter afternoon, a mere eight hours before our bus was to depart at 10pm, the man called us to report that we could have our first four seats but the other two had been sold to someone else. What??? I was confused. I reminded him that we bought our tickets (seats 1-6) on the bus before anyone else had. They had already collected our money and I had the tickets in hand. After this conversation, he sent in his supervisor who then called to reiterate that we could have four tickets but the other two were sold to someone else. She did promise however that they would refund our two tickets that they'd sold to someone else. Seriously.
So, that evening we arrived at the Puyo terminal at 9:40, were refunded our money, and proceeded to take our four front row seats on the bus. We spent the first two hours shuffling around in many combinations to see what was most comfortable. Selah fell asleep on the backpacks which were resting on the floor so that gave Doug a bit of extra room for a portion of the drive. For another portion, Doug chose to stand so that his space could be used for the boys. At 12:20 am we arrived in Macas and many people disembarked. Hope for two more seats sprang up in Doug's heart. Several other passengers entered and before we knew it, we were being questioned as to whether we had paid for our seats. Had we paid for our seats? Well, as a matter of fact, we paid for six seats and all we got was four. So, we would not be moving out of these four seats we'd purchased, thank you very much.
So, off we went and for the next five and a half hours, Doug, Darius and Seth sat in seats 1 and 2, while Jacobey, Selah and I sat in seats 3 and 4. It probably would have not been so bad had it have been a fairly straight road on which we traveled. However, because it was so windy and the bus was careening to the left and to the right with such great frequency, the lurching we did from side to side required that Doug and I tightly hold onto the child that was asleep in our lap. When we finally arrived in Cuenca at 6 am, each of our four kids had had a few hours of sleep; Doug and I had had none and we felt like we'd been hit by a truck. Not the best way to start a vacation.
Our friend Gary came to collect us from the bus station at 6:50 am and took us to their high-rise apartment building where we found his wife Dena sweetly cooking us a big breakfast complete with a mound of bacon, a bowl of hot, cheesy grits, and two types of fresh fruit. Heaven! We scarfed the whole thing and then I excused myself and laid down for the next hour. Our entire Monday was a bit slow because of how we felt but we still managed to see a few sites, do a short hike in the mountains up at 13,000 feet, and have dinner at our friends' favorite Italian restaurant. It was fabulous to hit the bed that night!
The next three days were filled with touring the city, taking in the more important sites, shopping at stores that had more variety than what we were used to, and eating at restaurants that thrilled our children's taste buds (Subway, KFC, McDonalds). On our last day in Cuenca we went to a place known for their pancakes and Mexican breakfast tacos. Oh my! You've never seen food leave the plate so quickly. Our friends then took us to the zoo which I can honestly say is now my favorite zoo in all the world. It should be a place that all zoo designers must visit before creating their own zoo. The monkeys traveled all over the zoo in these fairly basic wire tubes which were suspended about ten feet above ground. There were two male and two female full grown lions in the exhibit. There was a tank full of frogs in various stages of the tadpole-to-frog process. And, one section of the zoo was purposefully burnt and smoldering so as to demonstrate that forest fires kill animals; another section had chopped down trees to make a statement about deforestation. Fabulous zoo!
That night we went to the free symphony held in the old cathedral and heard an hour and a half of terrific traditional Ecuadorian music played with violins, trumpets, and the full complement of instruments. It was music to my ears--literally.
Sadly, when we returned home we noticed that we'd received a number of text messages from our driver who was to pick us up the following morning at 7 am. He had sent messages letting us know that he would only be able to take us half way. We'd have to take a bus the rest of the way to make it back to Shell. Confused by this we texted back reminding him of the commitment that he'd made to us weeks ago. Nope. Can't do it, he said. Something else had come up and he couldn't do both. He'd only be able to do part of his bargain with us. When we asked why he thought it was okay to break this commitment with us, he got angry and told us to forget the whole thing.
So....at eleven pm (once again, eight hours before our departure time) we found ourselves without a ride eight hours in the future. We brainstormed. We called everyone we knew and our friends knew. We finally happened upon one man that wanted to charge us $65 more than the person we had originally hired for the job..........
We'll take it. Beggars cannot be choosers. So, at 7:30 in the morning we went downstairs and piled into a small seven passenger car and threw our suitcase on the roof and our backpacks between our legs. We were grateful then that we had not bought much in Cuenca in the way of groceries or soveniers and that two of our kids were still small. Off we went and headed down the road. An hour and a half into our journey we stopped off at the Incan ruins of Ingapirca. We stretched our legs, toured the site, downed a bag of Doritos, and then set off further on our journey. Thankfully the Dramamine worked the whole way so no one vomited on this trip. Praise the Lord! And, our driver drove slow enough and clear headed enough to make us feel comfortable.
So in the end when we arrived back to our house at 6:30 pm, we could say that we'd had a bit of a break from not only school, but from bug bites, rain, snakes, roaches, loud music, a limited menu, and constant begging for the use of our computer.
Warts and all, this trip was wonderful.
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim
When I went to the bus terminal on Friday and asked for tickets for the bus that would depart two days later, the young gentleman there told me that I needn't buy them so early. I could come back on Sunday morning to purchase them. To me, coming two days early to assure that we would get six seats had been a wise thing. And, who wants to travel half an hour away to buy bus tickets on Easter morning? I'd rather spend the time with my family and enjoy a less rushed time prior to going to church. So, reluctantly, the man sold me two adult and four children's tickets and asked for my phone number so he could call if there arose any trouble. I kind of scratched my head and thought, "I bought tickets. Why would there be any trouble with that?"
Well, sure enough, on Easter afternoon, a mere eight hours before our bus was to depart at 10pm, the man called us to report that we could have our first four seats but the other two had been sold to someone else. What??? I was confused. I reminded him that we bought our tickets (seats 1-6) on the bus before anyone else had. They had already collected our money and I had the tickets in hand. After this conversation, he sent in his supervisor who then called to reiterate that we could have four tickets but the other two were sold to someone else. She did promise however that they would refund our two tickets that they'd sold to someone else. Seriously.
So, that evening we arrived at the Puyo terminal at 9:40, were refunded our money, and proceeded to take our four front row seats on the bus. We spent the first two hours shuffling around in many combinations to see what was most comfortable. Selah fell asleep on the backpacks which were resting on the floor so that gave Doug a bit of extra room for a portion of the drive. For another portion, Doug chose to stand so that his space could be used for the boys. At 12:20 am we arrived in Macas and many people disembarked. Hope for two more seats sprang up in Doug's heart. Several other passengers entered and before we knew it, we were being questioned as to whether we had paid for our seats. Had we paid for our seats? Well, as a matter of fact, we paid for six seats and all we got was four. So, we would not be moving out of these four seats we'd purchased, thank you very much.
So, off we went and for the next five and a half hours, Doug, Darius and Seth sat in seats 1 and 2, while Jacobey, Selah and I sat in seats 3 and 4. It probably would have not been so bad had it have been a fairly straight road on which we traveled. However, because it was so windy and the bus was careening to the left and to the right with such great frequency, the lurching we did from side to side required that Doug and I tightly hold onto the child that was asleep in our lap. When we finally arrived in Cuenca at 6 am, each of our four kids had had a few hours of sleep; Doug and I had had none and we felt like we'd been hit by a truck. Not the best way to start a vacation.
Our friend Gary came to collect us from the bus station at 6:50 am and took us to their high-rise apartment building where we found his wife Dena sweetly cooking us a big breakfast complete with a mound of bacon, a bowl of hot, cheesy grits, and two types of fresh fruit. Heaven! We scarfed the whole thing and then I excused myself and laid down for the next hour. Our entire Monday was a bit slow because of how we felt but we still managed to see a few sites, do a short hike in the mountains up at 13,000 feet, and have dinner at our friends' favorite Italian restaurant. It was fabulous to hit the bed that night!
The next three days were filled with touring the city, taking in the more important sites, shopping at stores that had more variety than what we were used to, and eating at restaurants that thrilled our children's taste buds (Subway, KFC, McDonalds). On our last day in Cuenca we went to a place known for their pancakes and Mexican breakfast tacos. Oh my! You've never seen food leave the plate so quickly. Our friends then took us to the zoo which I can honestly say is now my favorite zoo in all the world. It should be a place that all zoo designers must visit before creating their own zoo. The monkeys traveled all over the zoo in these fairly basic wire tubes which were suspended about ten feet above ground. There were two male and two female full grown lions in the exhibit. There was a tank full of frogs in various stages of the tadpole-to-frog process. And, one section of the zoo was purposefully burnt and smoldering so as to demonstrate that forest fires kill animals; another section had chopped down trees to make a statement about deforestation. Fabulous zoo!
That night we went to the free symphony held in the old cathedral and heard an hour and a half of terrific traditional Ecuadorian music played with violins, trumpets, and the full complement of instruments. It was music to my ears--literally.
Sadly, when we returned home we noticed that we'd received a number of text messages from our driver who was to pick us up the following morning at 7 am. He had sent messages letting us know that he would only be able to take us half way. We'd have to take a bus the rest of the way to make it back to Shell. Confused by this we texted back reminding him of the commitment that he'd made to us weeks ago. Nope. Can't do it, he said. Something else had come up and he couldn't do both. He'd only be able to do part of his bargain with us. When we asked why he thought it was okay to break this commitment with us, he got angry and told us to forget the whole thing.
So....at eleven pm (once again, eight hours before our departure time) we found ourselves without a ride eight hours in the future. We brainstormed. We called everyone we knew and our friends knew. We finally happened upon one man that wanted to charge us $65 more than the person we had originally hired for the job..........
We'll take it. Beggars cannot be choosers. So, at 7:30 in the morning we went downstairs and piled into a small seven passenger car and threw our suitcase on the roof and our backpacks between our legs. We were grateful then that we had not bought much in Cuenca in the way of groceries or soveniers and that two of our kids were still small. Off we went and headed down the road. An hour and a half into our journey we stopped off at the Incan ruins of Ingapirca. We stretched our legs, toured the site, downed a bag of Doritos, and then set off further on our journey. Thankfully the Dramamine worked the whole way so no one vomited on this trip. Praise the Lord! And, our driver drove slow enough and clear headed enough to make us feel comfortable.
So in the end when we arrived back to our house at 6:30 pm, we could say that we'd had a bit of a break from not only school, but from bug bites, rain, snakes, roaches, loud music, a limited menu, and constant begging for the use of our computer.
Warts and all, this trip was wonderful.
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim
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