I think I mentioned in our last posting that we had had a wonderful time in Cuenca, a more modern, clean, mountainous city here in Ecuador which happens to be about an eight hour bus ride away from our small town of Shell. As mentioned, though we had fully enjoyed our time there, we certainly struggled to enjoy the journey there (cramming the six of us into four seats for an eight hour overnight bus ride) and the preparation for the journey back (having our scheduled driver cancel his services the night before our departure). Yet, I am really happy to report that neither of these two things have diminished our fondness for the place or for the memories we made. In fact, Doug and I chatted this weekend about how easy it was for us to forgive and move on from the whole affair. We both knew that we could have easily held a grudge or smoldered in anger for a number of hours if not days regarding these wrongs done to us. We certainly had "the right" to do so. In spite of that fact, tt's funny--neither of us kept our anger and we both agreed to put the issue aside. It almost was as if we chose not to invest any further emotional energy in the wrong. We ceased to allow it to drain us or distract us or annoy us.
Hmm. I know I've walked this path before in having to decide whether to forgive someone or not. My husband, my kids, my parents, my teammates, my neighbors, my friends, my colleagues, my family members, and on and on and on. People need forgiveness constantly. Constantly. Someone is always falling short, failing, flubbing up. There is constantly someone who needs my forgiveness. Big things, little things, important things (like my reputation or my feelings or my needs), unimportant things, many things. Life simply doesn't happen the exact way I want it to and people get in the way and mess it up. It's inevitable. The more I try to control my day and my expectations and my life, the more I'm going to be disappointed and people are going to mess it up.
If only I choose to let go of my anger, or my disappointment in people, or my need to have life turn out perfectly (or even just as I had planned it out), and instead allow whatever may come to be seen as from the sweet, kind, protective, yet permissive, hand of God, then I don't have to be in charge of every thing that goes on in my life. There CAN be incidences that sidetrack us. There CAN be mess ups and mistakes. There CAN be meanness and hardship and brokenness and rudeness. (There WILL be anyway, regardless of whether I want it to or not.) The only difference is in my attitude about it. If I CHOOSE to know that my Father in heaven is in charge of all things, and that even those things that seemingly hurt or nearly destroy me He's permitted to happen in his infinite wisdom and kindness, then I can stop being so angry with my fellow man. I can rest in the fact that my God's got it all sorted out. If He wants to discipline someone or wants to teach them a lesson, then I don't have to. I don't need to worry with it further. In fact I don't even need to seek the evil of someone who's harmed me or committed ill-will toward me. Why? Because I'm messing with the lives of those who live around me too. I'm disappointing or hurting or getting in the way of the plans and my husband, my kids, my parents, and on and on and on. I too want them to forgive me and not hold my mistakes and sins over my head either.
If I will only choose to let God be in charge of the small and large things of my life (which He's actually in charge of anyway), then I don't need to be emotionally invested in every single wrong done to me. I can really let go of that stress, anger, and all the other emotional baggage that may come with it.
In practicality, when someone at home fails to do his chore, I can give a sweet reminder instead of a heated one. When someone leaves me or my child out of a neat opportunity, I can know that it wasn't meant to be for some reason; something else better must have been in store for us and I don't need to harbor resentment and disappointment. When someone fails to do something kind for me that I really needed or counted on, then I can release them from the burden. When someone says something mean about me or my child, I can lament that they haven't had the time to learn our hearts and our true self, and I can pray that we'll get to know them better and they us. They are not in charge of me or my life--and neither am I. My Daddy is. Praise God that He's forgiven me my umpteenth sin, through Christ's blood, and He's more than able to take care of it all.
May you (and I!!) choose to let God be in charge of teaching lessons and writing wrongs. May He reveal where we are to shoulder a burden and where we are to let it go. May we be convinced of His goodness and of His grace and of His ability to give us so much grace that we've got tons to give to others.
(BTW: If you're looking for a way to shake things up and change the world, then THAT'S how........)
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim
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