A Little Lighter

If you've read the past few posts you're well aware that we've had a rough couple of weeks.  Well, after feeling so heavy and distracted for so many days, I'm happy to report that things are looking up.  When we were in the midst of the turmoil I sensed that the Lord said, "I will vindicate," which I took to mean that I no longer needed to worry about how things would work out.  He would take care of the issues and I simply needed to trust in Him.  So.....we've been trusting that He'll sort it all out.

In the mean time we've celebrated Doug's birthday with many minor things:  a big breakfast to get his day rolling, a huge group of people to sing Happy Birthday to him during Chapel at school, a lunch of his favorite things (tomatoes and avocados to start), brownies for his staff meeting, a special requested dinner, a small bar-b-que grill as a gift (I'm starting to realize that food plays a big part in this man's life).  We also went to dinner the night after his big day because both of the restaurants that he would have chosen were closed on Mondays.  We took a cab there and enjoyed the most wonderful view of the Pastaza River.  Lovely.

Yesterday we had the fruit and vegetable truck stop by our house.  When the family arrived we bought our usual varied fare.  One new thing that we usually don't buy was a cabbage.

That baby only cost a buck--the same price as three apples!  (not sure why there's a black strip on the photo)

We've also recently discovered that Ecuador, every year on the two days prior to Lent, goes all out celebrating 'Carnival' by throwing water balloons, eggs, or anything else at unsuspecting passers by--everywhere in the country.  WHAT?!  That was my response.  You mean to tell me that besides the huge parades that we experience for days in November, the loud music that pumps out on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, the all-day and all-night campaigning that happens in February--at some point I'll tell you that story--, we've got water assault to look forward to in March?  I just had to laugh.  Compared to Ecuadorians, we Americans are so dull.

So in response, I think we may hop a bus and go into Banos or Ambato for a day and then scurry back to Shell before Monday so that we can avoid all that.  We actually get Monday and Tuesday off from school--and apparently EVERYTHING is closed--because no one wants to be pelted with stuff.  Do you think every country out there has it's own weird traditions like this?  Certainly makes for an interesting existence. 

I'll let you know how it all falls out in the next few days.
Blessings, kim

Job (as in the book of Job in the Bible)

So as the Lord would have it, exactly at the time when Doug and I were having a very hard week, I was cruising through my Cover2Cover90 Bible reading plan and was at the point of reading Job.  Smile.  Couldn't be more timely.  I've studied or at least read through this particular book probably no less than a half a dozen times or more and even read it aloud with Darius about a year ago.  On each occasion, I always feel as if it's a tough book to understand at a really deep level. 

In a nutshell, the story goes like this: 
Job has much.....
loses it all in one fell swoop........
his friends accuse him of some hidden evil which has brought about God's punishment.......
he denies any wrong doing no matter how much they persist and he questions why God has brought this on.........
God, ever present, speaks up and condemns the group and asks Job why he thinks he's the expert on everything.........
Job, greatly humbled, stands corrected.....
Job ends up being doubly blessed by God in the end.  Whew. 

In the past, I would read Job and really wonder why God was so harsh on Job--not at the beginning of the book but rather at the end.  Why did God step in and come down so hard on him? 

Well, as I was reading in bed one night before going to sleep, I felt God ask me a question:  "Kim, do you see yourself in this story?"  As He posed it, I knew He didn't mean, "Have you had all things taken away like Job has?"  That was not what He was talking about.  Instead He was asking me, "Have you sinned like Job is sinning here in this story?"  I immediately knew the answer.........yes.  And I immediately knew how Job had sinned--why God stepped in and came down so hard on him.

You see, Job was adamant about his own innocence.  He was absolutely certain, without a doubt, that he was innocent and that God was being capricious--treating him unfairly.  He accused God of being overly harsh on him while letting the evil go free.  I too was wanting so badly to stand on my innocence.  I wanted to look outward to assess blame. I wanted to be mad at how I was being treated and felt more than justified in harboring anger, resentment, bitterness, and a whole host of emotions. 

Sidebar:  I discovered this week that I get the most bent out of shape when people don't give me the respect or the 'awe' that I feel that I'm due.  When I'm not given full credit for my abilities, advanced degrees, age, experience, skills or you-name-it, then I'm pretty ornery.  In my mind, it's not right to be treated as if I'm lacking in ___________.  When I discovered that about myself, I realized that I still lack a ton of humility.  That I have very little in common which Christ who set ALL of his glory aside to live a very humble, almost obscure existence among men.  When I inwardly expect people to treat me a certain way, then I do not walk as Christ did.  I more resemble those who worked against him.  Yuck.  Not where I want to be.

So, back to Job.  Job was guilty because he questioned God's goodness.  Now who does that sound like?  Satan did the same thing with Eve in the garden of Eden.  He, the great deceiver, led Eve to believe that God is not good and that we, the humans, are better determiners of right and wrong. That's exactly where Job was headed.  Job had begun to see himself as completely innocent and God as completely guilty.  Ouch!

So when God questioned, "Kim, do you see yourself in this story?" He let me know that I was beginning to see myself as innocent and Him as not taking care of things in the way I expected.  As the One who knows me better than I know myself, I knew He was right.  So, for a moment I was embarrased before my Lord at how I'd questioned Him and not trusted Him with the way things were coming out; the next moment I was so much more in love with Him because He'd revealed the ugliness inside me and loved me enough to not let me remain that way.

Oh man, our God is good.  Terrible things may happen to us but that DOES NOT mean that He is a terrible God.  He uses everything, and I mean everything, for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.

May you know the same.
Blessings, kim

Walking Through the Challenges

Yesterday was a day off for NSMS (our school) and so we played board games, listened to Adventures in Odyssey on cassette, heard the rain patter outside, and reveled in a day of rest.  We so needed it; much this week has been challenging.  As a matter of fact, Doug and I both, at different times, wanted to hop a plane to come home.

We felt the avalanche of burdens descend one by one--a severe burn, disagreements between community members, discipline issues with our kids, very tough school decisions, lack of sleep for nights on end, a sick child, friends being forced to leave the country, and a dog bite.  The gory details are really not that important.  You're well aware that sometimes it's not the elements on the list as much as it's the timing of them all coming to you at once.  Each of these is hard; taken together they are overwhelming.

Well, as these things were pressing upon us and making us sick to our stomachs, we so badly wanted to run away--to take our toys and go home. In addition, we wanted to spew our anger, frustration, sadness, confusion on anyone who would listen or on anyone who we felt deserved the brunt of our emotions. Yet, we knew that that would not be the right response.  Easiest response, but not the right response.  The right response would be much, much harder and demand a greater dependence upon the Lord.

Let me delve for just a moment into the details of one of the items on our list:  the dog bite.  One night we had a friend of Sethy's over for dinner.  At the conclusion of the meal, Doug walked this boy home and on his way back was bitten by a dog that came out of nowhere to latch onto his leg through pants and socks.  Surprised by the unsolicited attack, he reached down toward the dog and before he knew it, the dog ran off and into a gated courtyard.  Doug came home and was obviously shaken.  Rabies, of course is the first thought that ran through his mind.  So, he and I walked right back to that courtyard a few blocks away to meet with the owner who allowed this attack to happen.  On the way we prayed and asked the Lord for favor, protection, and wisdom. 

Well, when we arrived we saw the owner leaning on the entrance to her courtyard.  We asked her about having a dog and told her the story of what had just minutes before taken place.  She was very apologetic, assured us that her dog was up to date on her shots, and that she knew our neighbor, the doctor across the street, very well.  When we asked her for her name she gladly volunteered it, apologized that she didn't know where the confirming paperwork on the vaccinations were, and that the lighting was too poor to show us her dog. 

Armed with this information we went to our doctor neighbor's house and gave him the run down of what had transpired.  He assured us that no concern was needed about rabies--it has not been an issue in several years, and he could attest not only to the owner's trustworthiness, but to the miracle that has previously taken place in her life.  He had performed emergency surgery on her years henceforth and he'd given her a mere few months to live in post-op because of the terrible state of her health.  She should have died, period.  Interesting.

So, the next day, in better light, Doug returned to the scene of the crime and asked to see the dog again.  This time the dog was more visible (a new mama who was eager to protect her pups), and the owner produced the paperwork on the vaccines AND a bag of veggies we'd never tried before, some basil seeds, and a single rose.  Sweet.  Much softened toward her and the unfolding situation, Doug inquired about her residence and the sewing machine he spotted just inside the door.  She said that her sewing business had taken a dive when the younger generation decided that rips and tears were all the rage.  Doug assured her that we could provide her with some business.  Then when I went a few hours later to chat with her myself, I too could see her arthritis and asked if I could pray for her right then.  With tears in her eyes, we said "Amen" at the end, and I knew that we'd made a new friend. 

So.....God is teaching us that even dog bites can lead to new friendships, and that our needs (even though they seem pretty great at the time) may not be the biggest need in God's view.  It's crazy too how he can take the most ugly, most unsettling situation and turn it into something that is beautiful and life-giving.  We're providing her with business and I've promised to pray for her hands daily; she's given us another chance to see God change our hearts and way to minister to the locals here in Shell.

What we're learning from these really tough days is that just like we as parents never take our kids out of their troubles, God would not take us out of ours.  As parents we want our kids to think through their situation, pray for guidance, trust God's wisdom, and patiently act upon what they know is right.  Our role is therefore to come alongside our kids, talking, walking, listening, and consoling.  We give wisdom, encouragement, and company.  We let them know that they are not alone but that they are more than able to address the issue before them.  They don't like walking through it, and sometimes they may even think we're mean to not fix it for them.  But, walk through it they must.

Likewise, we are seeing very vividly that God will not take us out of situations that He deems are perfect for us as the time--situations that prune, purify, and refine.  He will allow us to struggle and pray and rely on Him. And that's just what we've done.  We have prayed, fasted, talked, and really been still before the Lord. And, we're seeing that the fruit of these choices to be patient and listen to Him and His wisdom, is an actual joy in knowing that we've done things the right way, an incredible peace, and a very strong sense that the Lord's ways are ALWAYS best.  God is Good!

Thanks for reading!
Blessings,
kim

Learning, Always Learning

Here we are to another weekend and I'm ever so grateful for Saturdays.  This past week so many of my commitments were cancelled (either due to no Ecuadorian school, or low attendance, or schedule conflicts) so I was able to do some other things and was able to make sure I had kept up with my reading in the Bible.  Reading through the Bible in 90 days has been an adventure.  I am one-third of the way through and I feel that I've learned so much already.  This isn't the first time I've read through the Good Book, but it is the first time at this pace.  If you've not done this before, let me recommend it to you.  You will see things that you've previously missed.  And, some things will make more sense when you read them together as opposed to disjointed and unconnected. 

One other thing that I got a chance to do this week was spend more time with Debbie, our friend from Colorado Springs that works for HCJB (now Reach Beyond) and is the person that connected us to this mission.  She arrived in country a month ago and came to Shell last Sunday night.  Since her arrival, I've taken her to Puyo twice, we've had some lunches and dinners together, we've shown her the town, and the kids have introduced her to the jungle.  She LOVES it!  I've never seen anyone so excited about something.  She takes her camera, knee-high boots, raincoat, and one of our knives so that she can cut, dig, shoot, and gander at the most interesting things there.  I'm living vicariously through her--I don't really want to go in there myself.  She's come back with lots and lots of pictures, bananas, pieces of greenery, and even one story about where all the roaches come from--now I REALLY don't want to go in there!

Her being here reminds me to enjoy being where I am at.  She finds this place fascinating and that reminds me to do the same.  She did take some amazing photos of the humming birds that we saw on Saturday so I've included some of the pics here:

These guys are all only about three inches long--they are the greatest thing to watch.

Enjoy the pics (courtesy of Debbie!)
Blessings, kim

God's protection

Over the weekend I enjoyed a ladies' retreat in Papallacta, the same place where our family spent Thanksgiving.  It's a small mountain town at about 10,800 feet above sea level.  It's a place where you have to wear sweaters, drink lots of water, and hope that the clouds burn off sometime during the day so you can see the beauty that surrounds you.  I went to the ladies' retreat honestly not really feeling that I needed one--I'd been in much better spirits and seriously had gotten somewhat used to all the rain we've been experiencing (BTW, someone told me that Shell is something like the third rainiest place on the planet.  I think they might be right.).  Yet, I knew that by going on this retreat I'd have the opportunity to meet several women in our organization.  These are women that I hear about continuously and some have been gracious enough as times to send me things that I need.  Besides, the price tag was fairly remarkable.  For van transportation four hours away, two nights, and six meals, the cost was $30.  I thought it was a steal of a deal and Doug said it was too good to pass up.

So, away I went and met up with 27 other ladies for the weekend: four from Shell, two from the States, and the others from Quito.  Our first speaker during our time there started with an amazing story from her childhood of when she lived in an African nation during their time of war.  One night as her father was led away at gunpoint, the rest of the family evacuated to safer territory in a neighboring country.  The speaker's mother prayed for God's protection and strength to withstand the awful circumstance.  She shared that their vehicle went through numerous check points along the way and at every stop it was as if there was a cloud protecting them and seeing them through to the end.  Eventually they were reunited with her father and knew without a doubt that God had guided their journey.

Thereafter we were privy to the second speaker's amazing stories and so many words of wisdom and admonition.  She encouraged us to ponder a number of things and really pushed us to make some deep, introspective observations about our thoughts and beliefs.  Dig to uncover lies we believe.  Time well spent.

Well, on Saturday afternoon we had a couple hours of free time and so the suggestion was made that we should visit a hummingbird sanctuary about 10 minutes out of town.  Since I'd been holed up in the big house for nearly 24 hours, I decided I needed to take in some of the great outdoors.  Nine of us jumped into two cars (one of them borrowed) and drove till we found a little private driveway which led to a garden filled with sugar-water feeders.  As we watched, scores and scores of hummingbirds darted in and out and around the feeders suspended from the trees.  There were more than ten different varieties of these amazing little birds including the swordbill which has a four to five inch beak jetting out of it's only three inch body.  We got so close as we watched them that we could feel the wind from their flying past.  One black and green hummingbird actually hovered close to my face.  We were all surprised at how unintimidated they were of us.

After an hour there, we jumped back into our cars and headed for the big house.  Less than two minutes into our drive the four of us in the second car noticed a strange sound.  I rolled down my window and we discovered that our front driver's-side tire had gone flat.  Much to our horror, we had to pull to a stop on this very windy mountain road that has no shoulder and only has one lane in either direction.  Panic set in.  No place would be a safe haven to change a tire. Thankfully we found a bit of a straight away so that the cars in either direction could see us briefly before they arrived at our exact spot.  Well, this was the perfect storm for an accident.  I knew nothing about changing tires, and since we were in the borrowed car, I knew nothing about the car either.  The four of us began brainstorming what to do and where to look for the spare and the tools.  Growing more and more nervous I did what I could only think of:  I prayed.  I prayed that the Lord would protect us from the cars speeding past us in either direction at approximately 50-60 miles an hour.  I prayed that the drivers would wisely slow down to avoid us and each other as they had to share only a lane and a half or less.  I prayed that the Lord would send someone to lend us a hand because none of us were expert mechanics. 

Well, within a minute a very large, black auspicious looking vehicle pulled up, and praise the Lord, on the side it said Policia National (national police).  This monster looked like a bullet-proof Winebago minus all the windows and bumper stickers.  It parked about 40 yards behind our car and provided a nice barrier between us and cars approaching.  Out came two camoflaged, pistol laden police officers who made a bee-line for our tire and began assessing the situation.  Since my prayer was answered so rapidly and progress was being made car-side, I began pacing and praying aloud for their safety in the space between their big black box vehicle and ours.  Fear began to leave and in its place came a surprising peace.  After about 10 minutes of their seeking out the spare, dislodging it from the underbelly of the car, and discovery that the jack was less than ideal for the job, they also discovered that the tool for removing the bolts on the tire wasn't going to do the trick.  So, I added, "And Lord, please provide us the right tool to get the job done."  No more than one minute later a car loaded with four men pulled over just in front of our car and out popped, apparently, friends of our police contingency who knew exactly where to find their wrench in the trunk.  We were back on track.  Prayers were being answered.

So six Ecuadorian men worked on our tire while the four of us prayed and watched the scene unfold.  It was amazing.  Cars, buses, vans, trucks, diesel engines, and eighteen wheelers would roar around the bend approaching us from either direction and inevitably slow down by the time they'd reached us.  At no time did we have close calls or feel overly anxious.  Fear had gone completely.  My prayers were being answered left and right so I began asking for traffic to alternate.  Sure enough, cars would approach from one direction with none from the other and then after a while they would cease and cars would only come from the other direction.  Crazy.  Couldn't believe that we were not only getting out of this situation alive but also with a glimpse of some tremendous God protection. 

In the end, we exchanged smiles and handshakes all around letting the troops know that we were extremely grateful for their investment in our cause.  We hopped back in our borrowed car and began laughing at how we just had witnessed a miracle.  It was amazing (glad it's over too!).

Blessings, kim

Teaching Teachers about Teaching

School's out for all Ecuadorian students (however, because our boys go to a missionary school, Doug and the kids still have classes this week).  Since it's a week off for everyone, the teachers at Casa de Fe are having meetings, working in their rooms, and updating their knowledge on certain topics.  I was blessed with the opportunity to meet with them on Monday for about an hour.  You see, I had gone into each of their classrooms previously to observe their teaching.  I watched lessons in music, math, science, history, English, and language arts.  Six of the lessons were completely in Spanish which posed a new level of challenge for me.

So, on Monday I presented a lesson to them trying to include some of the things that I thought they might need in their teaching repertoire.  As I prepared for that lesson, I was very concerned that I'd not be able to express myself well (since the lesson would have to be in Spanish) and that they would not receive it well.  I wanted to talk about rigor, discipline, and many other topics pertinent to teaching.  It would be a challenge to come across well in any language when dealing with these topics. 

Well, Monday came and I felt still unsettled about how I was going to present even though I had the lesson all planned out.  All I could do at that point was pray earnestly to the Lord about His guidance and His ability to speak through me. 

Our session started about 20 minutes late (some teachers were slow in arriving since they still had commitments with the students who needed extra help).  I had them work in pairs to do activities, to work as a group to devise lists, and discuss aloud our thoughts on teaching.  I modeled some teaching behaviors that I thought were key to a successful classroom.  We had an active discussion sprinkled with joking and laughter.  In the end, I was more than satisfied with their attentiveness and participation, and praising God that He'd answered my prayer (and that it was finally over!).

Then, the rest of this week has been scheduled meetings working one-on-one with the teachers talking about the lesson I observed.  Again, I was to speak with each of them in Spanish regarding my observations about how they teach.  Another opportunity for prayer!  I finally finished the last of them yesterday and, whew!  The Lord answered prayer again and gave me the right heart, the right words, and the right connection with each of them.  I've even been blessed by their warm greetings each day and our amiable relationship.  What a neat thing it's been. 

Observation:  when still feeling unsettled about something new and different, always cover with prayer.  He tells us to cast all our cares upon Him because He cares for us.  Why not listen to that wisdom?  Certainly beats getting an ulcer, having high blood pressure, or any other yucky thing that could happen!  Have a great day!  May you pray to Him without ceasing. He's there anyway--you may as well talk to Him.  : )

Blessings, kim

Being Sent Away

Spent a few hours on the phone this weekend getting caught up with family and friends. What a huge shot in the arm and joyful way to spend time.  One of the conversations included a very powerful and eye opening discussion about the Lord and what He calls us to.

You see, I had been sharing how this experience has brought our family to some very hard places.  How it has placed us in situations where we felt alone and unincluded.  Every single one of us has felt unwelcomed at one time or another and we've had to sort through the emotions and questions that accompany that awful feeling.  When you add the fact that we cannot rely on our support systems back home due to distance--namely our family, friends, neighbors, church, and previous positions of authority or our prior knowledge about things--it's made the heaviness that much more heavy.

Well, as I spoke with my friend Darleen, she reminded me of the fact that when the Lord called many throughout the Bible He called them out of their environment and into something very foreign.  Oftentimes He pulled them away completely from those they loved and upon whom they relied.  She named Abram (Abraham) and how the Lord told him to leave his community to move to an entire other land.  He did take a handful of relatives with him, but for the most part he began afresh with a whole new existence. She mentioned David, who before becoming king of Israel, was on the run for many years trying to escape the hand of King Saul.

When I saw what she meant, my mind then flew through the Bible and all the stories of those that had been sent away from what they knew to something completely foreign and hard.

Jacob fleeing from his home and living with a distant relative (who became father-in-law) for 14+ years
Joseph taken to Egypt
Moses taken in by the daughter of the pharaoh and raised in the palace
Samuel taken as a child to live in the temple
Ruth leaving her people to stay with her mother-in-law
Esther married off to the king and moved to the palace
The disciples leaving all careers and family to follow Jesus
Saul (Paul) moved away from the Pharisees and into the Christian community

Well, the list really does go on from there.  I thought of Nehemiah, the prophets, and Jesus who Himself had to leave heaven and His throne to come here.  Biblically speaking, there is a preponderance of evidence that God does ask people to leave who and what they love to do something else.  And even when we obey and go, it does not mean that it will all look good or fun at the start (think Joseph).  There might be much heartache, much isolation, much darkness in the journey.  Yet, as we know, God is there all along, in the midst, and building our character into something that He can use.

My prayer is that each of us will look to our circumstance and our times of loneliness as times when the Lord has pulled us out of comfort so that our lack of whatever we value (friends, prestige, money, family, power) will translate into more of Him.  What we give up will be replaced with what we get--His presence, His guidance, His wisdom, His joy, His strength.  We must remember that

me + Jesus = All I need for what He calls me to do

Have a blessed Sunday!
kim