Wednesday

I just finished writing a very long blog and was doing the last minute editing when I accidentally pushed a button and deleted the whole thing.  Ever happen to you?  Frustrating.  And, as I sit here I can feel that something has just bitten the underside of my arm--I am not sure who has shown up to bite me while I'm typing at the kitchen table, but somehow I now have a bite on my forearm.  Interesting.  I'm not to be deterred though.  I'll blog anyway, by George!

The weather in Shell is amazing at the moment.  The sun is shining and the birds are alive and well.  The smell of fresh cut grass is wafting and we've not had rain yet today.  I really should be outside while I type--I guess if the bugs can get me inside the house at the table, then what more could happen outside?  Let's risk it....

Now that I'm outside I can see that a huge, dark cloud is headed this way--not a foreign sight here.  As a matter of fact, I've seen more interesting cloud formations here than I've ever seen elsewhere.  And, with that, more rainbows--nearly weekly and HUGE.  With the rain there often comes the rainbow.  I'm sure there's a lesson about life hidden in that last statement. Hmmmm....

Today Selah and I caught a lift from a friend to Casa de Fe--a huge blessing--and we arrived eagerly to see how Camila had fared overnight.  (She was the little girl brought in by the police yesterday with her siblings.)  I gave her a warm greeting and she returned it with a big smile and a few questions of her own:  what was my name, what was Selah's name, was she my daughter, where do I live, etc.  Apparently Camila was already feeling at home and her big sister Fernanda was to be in the classroom with her.  What a great thing for the both of them.  However, when I took four kids to the restroom in the big house, I learned of their little sister's location in the baby room. Little two-year-old sister Jennifer saw the older Camila and was devastated.  Jennifer understands very little of what's going on around her, and yet her being at the orphanage might be the best thing for her and her sisters.

In life I think that's the same for us.  We only see a piece of what's taking place and we become devastated by what we see.  It is our interpretation of the situation that runs our thinking and our emotions.  And no matter what the real truth is, we still go on what our perception is.  Yet, as with Jennifer, our sight is so limited.  We cannot possibly fathom what is best for us nor what pain we have to go through to get to the best in our lives. 

Likewise I needed to come here to find out God's best for us, to learn some of the very hard lessons that I've been learning.  I had to learn to be without:  without family, without friends, without my church, without my house, without my neighbors, without cars, without available finances, without my routines, without all the comforts in my life.  The Lord had to strip away all those things that give me comfort and a sense of belonging so that He could thrust me into something where He'd have my full attention.  When all those things are stripped away, what's left?  Great question!  Underneath is there someone who is confused and upset and loud like Jennifer?  Or does the challenge of the situation lead to the revealing of something precious, lasting, and beautiful underneath? 

I have learned recently that when the Lord takes away all of my acclaim, my life in the States, and my favorite people and things, then He reveals what I'm truly made of.  I don't think the first months (tomorrow will be four months) have revealed much beauty.  I had a lot of ugliness to work though and much foolishness was bound up in my heart.

In the Bible, the Lord talks about how we are to love our enemies because loving only those who love us is really not much of a feat.  Loving our enemies is certainly much more in-line with Christ.  Well, similarly, being contented when things are going well is not really all that special.  When things are challenging and we're under duress and we choose to be contented--now that's something that resembles Christ.  In all ways He gave up so much more than I did when He came to earth.  Yet, he roamed the earth under great duress and rarely was He discontent or fussy. It is only when I seek to be contented in all things that I really demonstrate the love and character of Christ.  And isn't that why I came here in the first place?

Well, I have to say that now that I've retyped the blog, this one that you're reading is much better than the other one that got deleted.  I should just trust that even in the deleting of an hour's worth of typing, there would be a blessing in the end. 
Thanks for reading. 
Blessings, kim