Ouch

So over these past few weeks Doug and I have struggled in our parenting more than we have in a long while.  We seem to be hitting that time in the kids' lives when they wish to exert more of their independence and opinions than previously, and it's coming out in ways that are simply not pleasing to us:  rebellion, disrespect, anger, frustration.  Let's just say, the house has not been as peaceful as it has been in the past.

Last week we had two of our worst days--ever--and we were ready to throw in the towel. (I'm not really sure what that means, but it certainly felt like something that would apply right about then.)  We had been praying tons and had been asking the Lord to show us what to do.  We'd also been asking for copious amounts of wisdom, patience, and persistence since we knew that this was not going to get resolved in a day.  On the morning of the third day, I woke up truly frustrated and unsure as to what to do.  I began with prayer and really felt like the Lord wanted us to pray over the house in a more significant way. 

So, I gently woke Doug up and asked him to join me outside to pray for the house and kids.  Well, as we prayed, we circled the house seven times and claimed that little plot of land for the Kingdom of God and for His purposes.  We prayed for wisdom, faith, protection, strength, and many, many other things.  As we walked I thought about the Battle of Jericho from the Bible and how God's instructions to Joshua were simply to walk around the city.  It was that simple.  Circle the city and it becomes yours; you win the battle.  So, if it can work for Joshua, it can work for us.  So, we circled the house and we believe it will be ours; we'll win the battle. 

When we were done with our prayer walk, we then went inside and Doug proceeded to pray over every room in the house as we stood at every doorframe.  We claimed every room for the purposes of God and His kingdom.  Then we together fixed breakfast. 

Well, about half an hour later, or less, our troops arose one by one.  Would you believe they were all in a good mood?  Would you believe on that day (our day we spent in Banos) we got along so well and not once did we deal with issues in parenting?  It was so glorious.

Now, fast forward to today--one week later.  We've had a terrific week but starting yesterday I saw some of those ugly behaviors once again begin to rear their heads.  I started to address some of them at school yesterday, and then this morning I had to address them further here at home.  It's not been necessarily with one kid; it's been with multiple ones. 

I can tell you that I'm about ready to take a hike around the house again since I know this battle can only be won with prayer.  I've been praying hard and always with Doug in the morning.  I've been praying all day too since I need wisdom constantly.  Here's the kicker though.  As I'm reading this parenting book given to us by Nathan and Jennifer Warren from church in Texas, I'm today reading these words:  "If you sow love and respect into your child, you will reap the harvest of a teenager who wants to show you love and respect.....(I)n the families I have observed whose parents showed their children love and respect, I witness the older children giving it back to the parents."  Ouch.

I know that I have not constantly shown my kids respect or shown them love in the way that they individually need it.  I've been assuming that my title alone is cause enough for them to honor me.  Yet, I've forgotten that to show respect to another, that person needs to know what respect looks like.  I'm not sure that I'm the best role model for giving respect.  Uhhh.

Now my prayer is not just, "Give me wisdom and patience," but it's "show me how best to respect my children and give me patience as I sow these seeds into them."  Can I just tell you that Parenting Is Hard?  It is so hard, and yet sometimes it's as simple as 1) pray, 2) love, 3) respect.  I do hope to learn this lesson; my grandkids' lives are on the line.....

Thanks for reading. 
Blessings, kim

PS.  If you'd like to pray with us too, please feel free to do so.  We'd be ever so grateful!

A borrowed car

This is our family visiting a very out-of-the-way spot just above the city of Banos, one hour from our house.  We were given the HUGE blessing of the use of a car Saturday by some friends who are missionaries on our compound.  They told us we could use their car for the weekend and we were in shock at the generosity.  So, we jumped at the chance and drove to Banos for the day and decided to spend our time going to places that we would otherwise never be able to see. 

We started the day at a family park that was recently created just on the outskirts of the city.  There we saw cages filled with rabbits and with guinea pigs.  They were even kind enough to post among the general information on each animal their nutritional values (ie. rabbit meat is low in cholesterol and is good for those who suffer from high blood pressure)!  Just in case you were curious.  We also saw fish ponds full of tilapia, carp, turtles, and sardines.

This is Selah posing with one of the many flowers planted throughout the park.  Then we walked among the banana trees and other native plants found in Ecuador. 

Jacobey taking a rest with the bananas.  After the park we drove into town and ate at our favorite Mexican restaurant.  The owner is not Mexican but the cook is and that makes all the difference in the world.  The tortillas are perfect and the salsa heats up our taste buds just right. 

Seth in a sombrero.  : )

Then we played in the city park where we hopped on the seasaw, went down the slides, and just had a bunch of fun.  Sadly it's at this point that I lost my cell phone.  Once I noticed that it had come out of my pocket so I picked it up and put it back. Shortly thereafter I discovered it missing when I went to check the time.  So sad.

Here's Darius walking up and down the seasaw.  Even at twelve, he can still find interesting things to do at the park. 

It was at this point that my mood began to change.  I started to worry about the loss of my phone and I could sense my stress level increasing.  Jacobey started asking me questions and I was a bit short with him when I answered.  Then as we crossed the street and I noticed my kids not being mindful of the danger, I became cross with them.  That's when I knew I needed to make a choice.  We'd had such a wonderful day thus far and I could choose to be bent out of shape about the loss and ruin the day or I could move on and choose to enjoy the rest of our day and worry about the phone later.  Then Proverb 14:1 came to mind:  The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.  Hmmmmm.

I chose to deal with the phone loss later.  So we next took the car and drove fairly high up on the side of the mountain (Tungurahua Volcano) to visit this tiny little house called the Casa de Arbol which boasts that it's at nearly 9,000 feet.  At this point, we're way above the city of Banos far below.

A couple of our daring kids chose to swing out over the cliff--it actually looks way scarier than it is. 
And, Doug and Selah took the short climb up into the little house.  I remained on the ground taking pictures. 

Shortly thereafter we did swing on this little makeshift swing that a young boy had which was suspended from a tree right on the edge of a steep drop off.  Doug and I thought we'd try that little one and we found it to be just as fun as the one the boys tried.

When we left there, we drove back into town and headed straight for the Mega Bodega which is their largest grocery store.  By American standards it's about the size of a Dollar Store but it's the biggest thing we have near Shell and it's only an hour away.  So, we had a heyday buying toothpaste, soap, cereal, cheese, chips, crackers, ziplock bags, oatmeal, sugar, and many, many more things.  It was a joy (I'm not kidding) to shop. 

Finally, I got by buddy Carlos, the security guard, to pose for a picture with me.  If you read this blog last year, you may remember that he's the one who had lived a life of crime, had gone to prison, had accepted Christ as his Savior, and who has a wildly different life than the one he once had.  Carlos tells me that now on his one day off each week, he's traveling an hour to take Seminary classes.  This guy is amazing and his smile is genuine. 

All in all, it was the one of the most wonderful days we've ever had in Ecuador.  It is no understatement that our lives are very different with a car than they are without.  Never take your car for granted.  It affords you the opportunity to do so much. 

 

I also have to say that this small act of kindness by our friends--this loaning us their car--was huge.  That's what kindness is.  It's sometimes just meeting someone in their specific need when they need it.  Powerful.

 

Thanks for reading. Blessings, kim

Simple things

I cannot begin to tell you how different this year is from how things went last year.  It's such a contrast from what we experienced previously. 

As I write this we have a well-stocked pantry full of American favorites (though we just ate the last of our Giardettos snacks--spelling?), such as Ranch dip and dressing packets, Cream of Wheat, Special K cereal, almond slices, Craisins, marshmellow cream, Andes mints, flavored oatmeal packets, liquid smoke, a monster bottle of Tabasco, black pepper, Italian seasoning, Kosher salt, Earl Gray tea, and three pounds of coffee among other things.  We knew what to stock up on to bring along.

In our fridge are the tale tale signs of a megastore visit while we were in Quito.  We have huge blocks of Cheddar, Brie, Ricotta, sour cream, cream cheese, and jalapenos; in the freezer were shrimp (we had Jambalaya the other day), cinnamon rolls, and frozen fruit juice for making smoothies.  I hate it that food is such a priority, but it's the simple truth.

The rain has been far less than it was in the spring of last year.  We've only had one really hard rain since we got here (a hard rain would amount to four or five inches in a few hours) and I've yet to get caught in it once.  That's amazing.

Since we already own bikes, we've not had to spend tons of time this year looking for some second-hand ones which would get us from A to B.  Thus far we've been able to get around really well and have not needed to walk as much as we did when we first arrived.

We don't have lice, the termites are only showing up in one of our doors, no big bugs have made their way into our house (though Darius spotted the largest caterpillar ever--the length of his hand!--outside on the driveway), and we've yet to see a snake, whether inside or outside the house. 

Our kids have reconnected with friends here and seem to be included on the vast majority of events.  They've taken journeys into the jungle and down by the stream, to the town park and have even gone today to play soccer at the local town sport complex with a huge group of kids.  Everyone seems to feel a part of something.  It's wonderful.

Doug and I have begun to work together again in a professional setting.  When we first met eighteen years ago I was his direct supervisor.  Today he's mine.  It's going well and I try not to flirt with him too much. : )

I joke, but the funny thing is that we see very little of each other.  When he goes in early, I stay back with the kids and vise versa.  When I stay late, he comes home with the kids and vice versa.  And while at work we really don't interact very much unless it's at recess time when we share a snack and engage in small talk with the kids while keeping our eye on the soccer game they strike up every single day. 

We've been invited to dinner with friends four times in less than four weeks since we arrived, and we've hosted our new single neighbor next door about three times as well.  We discovered a pizza place in nearby Puyo (half hour bus ride away) that sells pizzas 2 for 1 on Monday nights--this one thing has made my sweet husband more excited than anything else I've encountered here in Ecuador.  It took him a full 24 hours to get over the elation--the cheap price combined with the good taste was more than he could take.

I think the most fabulous thing we've had happen thus far is when our new German family neighbors let us know yesterday that we could borrow their car any time we needed it.  Can you believe?  That was so kind and aware of them.  It would be wonderful to be able to go on some of the amazing hikes that are close by but have never been able to since the bus route doesn't take us near them and we can get there no other easy way.  We may even find ourselves being more touristy in the coming months.

It really is the simple things in life that make the difference--especially when luxury is not an option.  One is willing to be thrilled with so much less......
Thanks for reading. 
Blessings, kim

Quito Part II

Our time in Quito about two weeks ago went so well.  These are some more pictures of that couple of days.  I had mentioned before that we toured the big cathedral located in the old part of Quito. 

From the top of the cathedral we could look out in one direction to see this slight mountain with a statue posed on top.  When we finally climbed down from the steeple on the one side of the church, we then walked in the space between the ceiling and the roof.  Here is the little catwalk that takes you from the one side to the other.  The walkway is mounted on top of the ceiling but is under the A-frame roof.  Walking across the walkway was not the hard part.

Going up the very skinny ladder in a near-vertical fashion, and then up another three ladders on the outside of the building which were just as vertical and skinny, was the hard part.

Afterward we celebrated a successful assent and descent by having lunch in this neat courtyard.  We had some pretty good Ecuadorian food and great conversation.

One of the other eating highlights of the day was when our friend Rebekah bought some treats from the street vendors and shared them with us.  The kids loved--and I'm not exaggerating--the boiled lima beans with potatoes.  They were really pretty good.  Afterward they asked me if I could sometime make this very dish.  Made me smile.

Thanks for reading,

Blessings, kim