Ouch

So over these past few weeks Doug and I have struggled in our parenting more than we have in a long while.  We seem to be hitting that time in the kids' lives when they wish to exert more of their independence and opinions than previously, and it's coming out in ways that are simply not pleasing to us:  rebellion, disrespect, anger, frustration.  Let's just say, the house has not been as peaceful as it has been in the past.

Last week we had two of our worst days--ever--and we were ready to throw in the towel. (I'm not really sure what that means, but it certainly felt like something that would apply right about then.)  We had been praying tons and had been asking the Lord to show us what to do.  We'd also been asking for copious amounts of wisdom, patience, and persistence since we knew that this was not going to get resolved in a day.  On the morning of the third day, I woke up truly frustrated and unsure as to what to do.  I began with prayer and really felt like the Lord wanted us to pray over the house in a more significant way. 

So, I gently woke Doug up and asked him to join me outside to pray for the house and kids.  Well, as we prayed, we circled the house seven times and claimed that little plot of land for the Kingdom of God and for His purposes.  We prayed for wisdom, faith, protection, strength, and many, many other things.  As we walked I thought about the Battle of Jericho from the Bible and how God's instructions to Joshua were simply to walk around the city.  It was that simple.  Circle the city and it becomes yours; you win the battle.  So, if it can work for Joshua, it can work for us.  So, we circled the house and we believe it will be ours; we'll win the battle. 

When we were done with our prayer walk, we then went inside and Doug proceeded to pray over every room in the house as we stood at every doorframe.  We claimed every room for the purposes of God and His kingdom.  Then we together fixed breakfast. 

Well, about half an hour later, or less, our troops arose one by one.  Would you believe they were all in a good mood?  Would you believe on that day (our day we spent in Banos) we got along so well and not once did we deal with issues in parenting?  It was so glorious.

Now, fast forward to today--one week later.  We've had a terrific week but starting yesterday I saw some of those ugly behaviors once again begin to rear their heads.  I started to address some of them at school yesterday, and then this morning I had to address them further here at home.  It's not been necessarily with one kid; it's been with multiple ones. 

I can tell you that I'm about ready to take a hike around the house again since I know this battle can only be won with prayer.  I've been praying hard and always with Doug in the morning.  I've been praying all day too since I need wisdom constantly.  Here's the kicker though.  As I'm reading this parenting book given to us by Nathan and Jennifer Warren from church in Texas, I'm today reading these words:  "If you sow love and respect into your child, you will reap the harvest of a teenager who wants to show you love and respect.....(I)n the families I have observed whose parents showed their children love and respect, I witness the older children giving it back to the parents."  Ouch.

I know that I have not constantly shown my kids respect or shown them love in the way that they individually need it.  I've been assuming that my title alone is cause enough for them to honor me.  Yet, I've forgotten that to show respect to another, that person needs to know what respect looks like.  I'm not sure that I'm the best role model for giving respect.  Uhhh.

Now my prayer is not just, "Give me wisdom and patience," but it's "show me how best to respect my children and give me patience as I sow these seeds into them."  Can I just tell you that Parenting Is Hard?  It is so hard, and yet sometimes it's as simple as 1) pray, 2) love, 3) respect.  I do hope to learn this lesson; my grandkids' lives are on the line.....

Thanks for reading. 
Blessings, kim

PS.  If you'd like to pray with us too, please feel free to do so.  We'd be ever so grateful!