The Journey

So for those of you who read that two weekends ago we were invited to a "hour and a half" hike that turned into a four and a half hour long journey, you'll find the humor in this story.  Our German neighbor Martin (in the green) invited Doug and our new other neighbor Joshua to a bike ride last Saturday.  They headed out at about 11 and Martin said we'd see them in about an hour and a half.  Well, in the interim, I went to Puyo with each of their two wives, our boys went off to a 10-year-old birthday party, and Selah remained on the compound with the others' girls so they could all play and enjoy the sunshine. 

Just as we ladies were leaving Puyo with a truck full of things, the men called and asked if we could come collect them from wherever they were.  We had to report that there honestly was no space for three men and their three bicycles among all the things we had purchased, our three selves, plus the one other passenger we had picked up while we'd been gone.  Julia said that if they truly needed assistance, she would come back for them once she'd dropped off all people and purchases on the compound.  They just needed to give her a call back. 

Well, at a little after 1:00 the ladies and I returned to the compound in the midst of a huge rain storm.  The wind blew furiously and the rain came down in buckets.  If we weren't accustomed to the impromptu storms that take place here, we'd certainly be concerned.  Yet, we unloaded Julia's car, checked in with all of our kids that had remained behind (for me it was only Selah), and began the job of unpacking and putting things away.  I also began soaking fruits and veggies in the cleaning solution, and then I inquired about whether the men were back yet or had they called for assistance.  Negative on both counts.

A full hour passed and no word but my boys showed up from their birthday party and so we discussed their time and the events of the morning.  The rain had died down some so I knew they would be coming home any minute.  Finally, the second hour passed and I considered inquiring with Julia about any updates but in the next moment I realized that I had not talked to my parents in a while and decided that I should not let any more days go by without a call. 

It was while I was on the phone with my dad that I looked out the window and beheld the "Three Caballeros" straddling their bikes looking greatly spent but contented with their ride.  Their purpose had been to 'get a little exercise' and I believe without a doubt that they'd done just that.  We all laughed when we realized though that the promised "hour and a half ride" had actually produced a "four and a half hour outing".  (Doug, thankfully, had gotten back just in time for his basketball game!) 

We now know that Martin is really an adventurer at heart and simply underestimates the demand.  So.....when we go to the mountains with him and a few other families for Thanksgiving a week and a half from now, and he suggests a short hike, we'll pack a lunch, plenty of water, and consider bringing a tent along.  (Smile)

In life, it really is the journey and not just about the destination.
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim

Fresh Eyes

About a week ago we invited an Ecuadorian friend and her daughter over for an American dinner at our house.  I decided to make bar-b-q sandwiches out of a large piece of beef tenderloin that I'd kept in the crock pot for nearly 24 hours.  We bought fresh buns, cut up a pineapple, sliced cucumbers, steamed cauliflower, and Doug created a fresh batch of home-made salsa.  Then we did as all good Americans do and put every condiment known to man on the table:  mayonnaise, two kinds of mustard, ketchup, jalapeno sauce, three kinds of bar-b-q sauce, salad dressing, Lowrey's Seasoning, Morton's Kosher Salt, Tabasco, black pepper, garlic, and probably a few other things I've forgotten by now.  We had more options for seasoning than for food.  It was a bit of overkill but we wanted to introduce them both to the promised land.

So, true to Ecuadorian form, my sweet friend showed up to dinner half an hour later than expected.  Thankfully, true to Thompson form, I didn't have dinner completely ready at the appointed time and appreciated the extra few minutes.  All parties were therefore quite happy about the arrangement.  When we finally sat down to the table and re-introductions were completed, both Nelly and her daughter Daniella ate more than their fair share of food and were complimentary about it all.  Ecuadorians are the best hosts and the best guests.

All through dinner we each put our Spanish skills to use and had a very lively and enjoyable conversation.  I really didn't have to translate very much and we had to bring Doug up to speed only every once in a while.  I was proud of our kids for trying their best to welcome this friend of mine, and proud of my husband for suggesting this dinner invitation.  It ended up being way easier than I had predicted.

After dinner we introduced them to two of our favorite card games knowing that language would not be a barrier during either.  We played Dutch Blitz with them (which is kind of like playing Solitare but with others playing on your cards and you on theirs) and did our best to keep the game really slow so they would not be overwhelmed by the speed of play. Once we did a few hands of that, we then brought out the big guns and played Pit.  If you've ever played Pit,  you know it can be obnoxiously loud and fun.  We did our best to break them in slowly before getting too rambunctious but then after a few hands we let it all hang out.  We were laughing hard before too long and when Nelly said it was time for them to go, eleven year old Daniella was sorely disappointed and wanted to play just one more hand. 

The whole night was a really sweet affair--what stood out though and will stick with me the most was the way in which Nelly's face lit up when I gave her the tour of our little house (1000 square feet) with it's painted cinderblock walls and write tile floors.  To us it's a real downgrade from our home in the states, but to Nelly who lives in a one-room apartment up on the roof of an apartment building,  it's a mansion.  Nelly's bathroom is not connected to her little home.  She has to walk outside to reach it.  She does her laundry in a sink on the roof as she looks down on the people below.  Then she hangs her laundry out to dry on one of the many clothes lines that hang across the length of the flat roof.  And, her place only has room enough for a double bed, stove, small fridge, table, and a clothes rack--there's not even a closet.  The place she and Daniella live in is approximately the size of our master bedroom here.  So, when I gave my dear friend the tour, she thought I lived in luxury--and when I thought about the tour she gave me when I visited her at home a couple of months ago--I knew she was right.

We are blessed beyond measure.
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim

Hiking

Today we were invited to go on a hike that was about 45 minutes from our house.  It was up in the Andes Mountains just where the climate is cooler and the terrain is more like mountains than jungle.   We headed out of our house at 9:00 a.m. (forgoing church for probably the first time in I'm not sure how long), and we reached our destination about an hour later.  Once we all assembled, which took a while since in our group we had two infants, one toddler, two preschoolers, our youngest three kids, and eight adults including two that were sixty--sixteen of us in all, we took a bus about 3 or so miles away from our parked cars so that we could catch a 'tarabita' (cablecar) ride across a huge gorge.  We wanted to hike on the opposite side of the gorge and make our way back to the car.  Our friend told us that he'd taken this route about 20 times previously so he knew it well and we'd enjoy this hour and a half hike. 

We somewhat reluctantly took the cablecar ride (the drop from there is very, very far below) across and then we began our hike.  Two from our party decided to take the zipline across instead so we waited for them on the other side. (This is what the 'safer' cablecar ride looks like.)

Jacobey had wanted to take the zipline as well but we discouraged our fearless child from making the trip that way.  This is the view that we were headed toward on our way across:

And this is the view as we looked to the side on the way across:

It was a beautiful view--as long as you weren't distracted by the dangerous drop.  Below is the Pastaza River which comes from quite a distance away and heads very far into the interior of Ecuador. 

 

Once our friends finally crossed the gorge, we all began the journey heading east back toward our car.  If you look at the above picture again, you'll see that the area on the right is where we hiked heading away from the camera, following the river.  What we thought would be an hour and a half hike turned out to be more like four and a half hours.  It was on a pathway that at times really was only as wide as our own bodies, or was along the side of a fairly steep drop down the mountain, or took us through the muddiest terrain in which we at times had to tug our shoes to pull them free from the suction of such thick stuff.  Thankfully we took plenty of snacks, a quite agreeable group of kids, and lots of sunscreen.  The weather cooperated, and we saw no animals with the exception of a few cows, a donkey, a family of turkeys (perfect timing for November), and lots of moths. 

We actually ended up on some man's property--we thought the trail took us through there so we stopped in to say hi.  He ended up charging us a dollar/family for our funny detour but we didn't mind too much because he shared some great homegrown fruit with us.  We call it snotfruit because the seeds inside have the consistency of such, but that's not it's real name.  Regardless, it was a nice way to take a rest and to chat with one of the locals. 

 

The kids really were little troopers. We walked about five kilometers or more which is roughly three miles (I'm guessing it's a bit more though) along the side of the mountain and they were content till just about near the end.  When we finally reached our destination--at 3:30!--we decided to have lunch at the only place available which sold fresh fried trout--head and all.  We ordered twelve plates so they got their nets out and caught the fish right then out of their trout holding tank.  The food was great and we scarfed down every last bite--I draw the line at the eyes--I won't eat those.  This is Sethy showing off my fish with only the tail, head, and connecting spine left.

We finally took another cablecar ride to get back across the gorge and so I captured a photo of the late afternoon sunshine on the western mountains as we rode across:

Though it was a very long day and we were all zapped at the end, we had had a terrific time and felt like we'd gotten to see a part of Ecuador that we'd not experienced before.  It was great.  Thanks for reading.

Blessings, kim

You know it's your child in class when

This year two of my students in the classroom are my own two kids:  Seth and Selah.  I'm finding myself thinking often, "this would never happen in another teacher's room."  I find humor in them but some are just nutty and I'm hoping to extinguish at least one of these behaviors before long. 

So, you know that it's your child in the classroom when....
10.  you hear, "Mommy" more than you do "Mrs. Thompson".
9.  your mug of hot tea slowly empties before your eyes.
8.  you're being asked what snacks you packed for the day.
7.  you nearly get tackled with a hug at the oddest times of day.
6.  you're begged to see the principal (Daddy) so that an especially good grade can be shown off.
5.  you're asked if another classmate can come over to play while the school day is still going on.
4.  you're told about a bowel movement that took place moments before in the restroom.
3.  you get tears when it's the Monday morning Spelling Pre-Test and the child doesn't know how to spell 'city'.
2.  you're asked to help someone zip up and button their pants after each bathroom break.
But my favorite, or possibly least favorite, is this one:
1.  you look down and your child is chewing his own toenails while you read aloud to the class. 
Oh My!  I didn't know whether to be embarrassed, mad, disgusted, or envious.

Regardless, I'm loving that they're in my class and that they're learning and growing every day.  What a blessing to be a part of their story.

Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim

New Arrivals and Old Friends

Just this week we received a new family here into Shell which excited us to no end.  They've come for the year (or more) and are to take on a few roles which may bless us immensely.  The head of the family will be doing so much of the maintenance work that is sorely needed around our small community, his wife will teach our school kids art and music, and their daughters will attend the school for at least a little bit of the time.  However, this is not what we're most excited about.  They've come with a deep sense of love for God and a great desire to bless those around them.  They want to connect, to learn, to grow deeper.  What a humble family they already appear to be.  We had lunch with them today and they were simply so grateful for the food, atmosphere, and camaraderie.  We were grateful too.

We truly are blessed because we as a community get to know entire families well.  That, I don't think, is very much the norm anymore these days in the US.  There, we usually meet one family member--at the gym, in the office, at school, or in any number of other places--but then we never encounter the rest of their household.  We never see family dynamics in play or watch couples interact and operate as a duo. 

Where we live in Ecuador, we get to know the family as a cohesive entity and we can learn from and enjoy them as a whole.  We are privy to the interplay between husband and wife, father and children, mothers and kids.  Here we've gotten to know a number of singles, couples, or families on a fairly intimate basis and have come to really learn greatly from those around us.  In fact, we've enjoyed a meal with more people over the past two months than we normally would in an entire school year. We have averaged about four or five meals a week with others.

There is one particular couple that stands out from the others.  About seven weeks ago we received an invitation from them to go out for pizza.  They collected us in their car built for four comfortably and without batting an eye we rode off to a brick oven pizza place six miles down the road in Puyo.  After a great deal of food, laughter, and fruity soda, they then dropped Doug and I off at the "big" grocery store while they took our kids out for ice cream.  By the time we arrived home, we thought we'd died and gone to heaven:  full tummies, happy kids, and a chance to buy groceries all while being schlepped around by our very generous friends.  They wouldn't even let us pay for our fair share of ice cream or gas money.

Well, we're pleased to report that that little tradition continues to this day.  Faithfully once a week we do dinner out or at one of our houses with these sweet friends (who by the way had raised six kids of their own here in Ecuador). And with our encouragement, they have given us parenting advice, been our biggest cheerleaders, prayed faithfully for us, and have shared any number of stories about their lives and their kids' growing up years that we feel very fortunate to have this surrogate older, wiser brother & sister. 

I guess the point that I'm getting to is that though eating alone at home is normally easier, quicker, and allows you to get to bed earlier, it's not always the best option if you want to grow, learn, laugh, or feel like you've connected in a meaningful way.  I can say for sure that this time around, the investment that we're making in others and they in us is leading to a much more fulfilling experience and is teaching us more about heart issues and life in general.  It's enabling us to make sure that the first-year teacher living next door has a home-cooked meal weekly, the visiting missionaries from the US feel welcomed to Shell, the single mom has a night off from cooking, the family that moved away to another city have a place to stay when they come around for a visit, and, it makes sure that we're being looked after too.  We're living this adventure together. 

If eating with others is out of your comfort zone, I challenge you to give it a whirl.  You may be surprised at what you get out of it.....

Thanks for reading,
Blessings, kim

Role Models

Recently I've begun to take an interest in how one family in particular has met the unique challenges of Shell head-on.  This family arrived here in the summer time having just as many, if not more, disadvantages as the rest of us.  They didn't have any language skills to speak of, they were lacking in funding, and they didn't have a large mission organization working in their corner.  What they did have was the vision from the Lord to go into the Ecuadorian interior to share their love for people and for their Maker.  So, boldly and confidently they came.

When they arrived, they were greeted by a house in need of some repair due to an unexpected leak, boxes of supplies needing reorganization and distribution to others, Spanish language spoken everywhere with no family member able to translate, need for transportation to purchase all the supplies they would require, spotty internet connections, and a much smaller missionary populace in Shell due to the summer travel and eventual movement of some to other Ecuadorian cities.  This could have been enough to really stop them in their tracks or at least give them a less than positive disposition.  Yet it did not.

When we came to Shell about six weeks after their arrival, they really should have been in the throws of culture shock--they should have completely moved out of the honeymoon stage and begun to find the hurdles greatly annoying and overwhelming.  Oddly, they were no worse for the wear.  Instead, they were enjoying their new adventure, getting the most out of their experiences, and finding each challenge to be something to be expected.  In fact, they weren't surprised at their troubles nor did they complain about them.  They met them head on and sorted them out.

Almost immediately after our arrival this family invited us over to dinner.  We couldn't believe it.  They had just met us and yet wished to spend time getting to know us already.  What generosity!  When we joined them for dinner they were so disarming and easy to chat with.  No pretense.  What you see is what you get.  Our kids loved the massive quantities of food, the spice that accompanied it, and the kid-friendly movie they showed for their entertainment.  Even though their kids who are older than ours (their son is two years older than our oldest son, and their daughters are four years older than our daughter) could have shrugged off the visit or interests of our four, they welcomed them in warmly and brought out things that our kiddos would enjoy.  Super.

Not only that, this family has volunteered their expertise in martial arts for the community of missionaries.  They have shared their skills in PE class at school and have held early evening classes for those who either wish more instruction or are not part of the PE class.  They are there to serve us and teach us AND they're there to share with the local Ecuadorian people. 

The thing though that really stood out to me was the fact that when one of their daughters celebrated her birthday recently, they sent out a community-wide email inviting all missionary kids in the community--boys and girls, little kids and big, parents, anyone.  No one would be excluded.  Wow.

Now as one who has been subject to many of these same struggles, and who has had to decide how to maneuver through the challenges, I am so sad to report that I have found myself too often in one of two positions:  I've either been too concerned about how things here are done and so I've not done anything, or, I've complained about how things are done and have been in a crummy mood over it.  Neither of these is exactly Christ-like nor loving toward others.

You know, it's one thing to be frustrated by things and know that you're up against some challenges, it's another to go with the flow and to do things the 'right way' anyway.  I could be fairly okay with how I've interpreted and lived this missionary experience until I witnessed someone who truly came in with the love of Christ and kept their eyes focused on the goal and not on their own issues or troubles.  Now I'm confronted with the reality of my less-than-Christ-like response to things. 

I love this lesson though. It reminds me that my standard is NOT other people or even other missionaries.  It is Christ Himself.  I have to do what He would do and not worry about what others would do or even how they would respond.  He only cared about the goal, the prize, the reason He came.  He only cared to do the 'right thing' and rarely did He ever speak out of frustration.  He's the standard.

So much to learn....
So little time.....
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim

Parenting

This is by far the hardest thing we do.  Can I get an 'Amen'?
These little people that we nurture and pour into and sacrifice for and love on....
Who just take and take and take and take....
Who make us laugh and make us cry and make us feel just about every emotion in between....
They are such a handful!
And yet I love them dearly. 

We really have had a rough go of it, and after our circling the house in prayer, we had about a week's worth of peace.  At the conclusion of that week we visited a counselor friend that lives across the street and she passed on some great wisdom.  We had been praying for wisdom, so when she chatted with me and gave me words of advice, I knew we'd gotten our answer to prayer. 

She started with, "Welcome of adolescence!", and then quickly recounted the time when she ushered her sixteen year old son into her husband's office and said, "Here's your son.  You can do what you want with him.  I am finished!"

Then she told us that though our children may say all sorts of things that don't make sense or hurt us or sound rude to us, we shouldn't take it personally or get totally wrapped up in the words.  The emotion behind them should not be met with our emotional response.  Instead we should let the words slide off of us taking note of the child's heart.  The last thing we need is to fight fire with fire.

She told us to save important conversations--ones where we find out the meaning behind the words harshly spoken--for a later time.  Take the child for a walk or a meal or on an errand where you can talk without the emotion or the confrontation.  Just ask questions and give the child an opportunity to be heard.

In essence, allow the child to stretch his wings, express his thoughts, say his peace. We want to hear our kids--instead of silence them or ignore them--and we wish to respond to the thoughts they have without getting distracted by the emotion.

She also reminded me that giving kids options and not commands is a wise thing.  For example, asking them if they'd like to shower before dinner or if they'd like to shower after dinner is a way to insist upon a shower for the evening without being demanding. I like the, "Would you like to dry the dishes or put them away?" option. 

One of my friend's main points was that we as parents cannot appear to be making this up as we go along.  We must lead with a calm assurance that we know how to parent and are ready to take on such a role.  If they shake us up and make us an emotional wreck or seemingly unable to parent, then it becomes more scary for them.  They need to know, and feel most secure in our home, when they are certain that we are able to take care of them. They need to know that we know what we're doing.  Most importantly we must present a unified front in our home--pitting mom against dad can be a child's greatest weapon--and thankfully on this point Doug and I can claim victory. We do stand together. 

Finally, she let me know that we should parent with some levity; we should see parenting and our relationship with our kids as a source of joy.  We need to put humor and laughter into our day so laughing with our kids is a must.  Games, jokes, and lighthearted conversations should be a part of our regular home life.  Life need not be so serious.  In other words, love your kids and enjoy them immensely.

Amen.  I'm happy to report that since we've been reminded of these key points, our life here in the Thompson house is so much better.  We've been cooking together, shooting hoops together, having great lunch and dinner discussions, and gone for a few walks to chat about what's going on.  Emotions have not run high and everyone feels more heard.  We even had our toughest kid walk into our room tonight, lay down on our bed, and have a half hour long conversation with us about things on his mind.  He wanted to know what his future options would be for schooling when we returned to the States, wanted to put in his two cents about things, and generally wanted to pass his aspirations by us. We laughed together and were even visited by the little sister in the next room who told us to keep it down because she was trying to sleep.  : )

Parenting. 
Enough said.
Blessings,
kim