The past two weeks have been so sweet and so full. We've been in the rainforest, in the Andes Mountains, in the suburbs at my parents' house, and now in our own home. We're thrilled to be back in our own bed and among our family and friends. The impromptu conversations in our yard, at the store, on the phone, in our home, and at others' houses continue to bless us tremendously. I never grow tired of seeing smiling faces that are happy to see us and eager to give a hug to a weary sojourner. May our homecoming last a good long while.
Doug and I are attempting to hold onto the life lessons and the inner changes that we've experienced--being in our own home culture certainly makes that harder. Slower, more contemplative living is not the American way. Yet, we're trying to still get 8 hours of sleep, talk and pray together each morning, tackle a reasonable amount of things each day before the day's done, connect with those we love, take our time when driving and going about our day's business, and sit with our kids at night just talking and laughing together. More importantly though, we're giving ourselves tons of grace all day long: grace to just sit for a minute and have a cup of tea; grace to enjoy the neighbor who just stopped by even when there's much to be done; grace to allow the kids to not be completely comfortable with all the hugs and conversations with people they barely remember; grace to be American without having to jump into everything we as Americans do.
For example, while shopping today I listened to the music the stores had pumped in and the messages the songs were feeding their listeners. While driving I noticed the facial expressions and pace at which we were moving. While interacting with cashiers and other store employees I noticed how people treat one another. And while engaging in conversations I noticed which topics were of importance and which were not. Today was a day of re-learning my culture.
I have discovered that I'm not completely comfortable in my culture any longer. It makes me feel rushed. It makes me feel guilty if I don't consume and use up all I can. It makes me feel unprepared and unplanned and unable if I want to just take my time and stop to smell the roses. It makes me feel that the things I deem important are irrelevant and unimportant and so-last-year (or century). My culture follows trends, and twitter, and facebook, and icons, and fashion, and so many other things that change and update and refresh. At this moment, it's too much for me. I just need time.
So for now, I'm going to simply engage with those who the Lord puts in my path; I'm going to unpack and put away the remaining things that need to find homes in our house; and I'm going to talk to the Lord all day long about what to do next. As long as I'm tuned into His voice, it'll all turn out just fine.
Blessings, kim
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Monday, June 8, 2015
Leaving Shell
Yesterday morning Doug and I woke up late: 7:45 am--about an hour later than we had wanted to. The night before we had spent over 3 hours sitting by a campfire on the compound singing songs, roasting marshmellows, drinking hot chocolate, and generally just enjoying the last night in the jungle. I didn't want to go in but at 11:30 pm we realized that dawn would be just around the corner and so would our driver.
So, at 7:45 am Doug and I flew out of bed and began moving suitcases outside. At 7:50 our first guests arrived to say good-bye. Not a pretty sight! Pajamas, glasses, hair every which way, funky morning breath, and the realization that this would be a final fair-well requiring lots of proximity. Yikes.
So once we said goodbye to this first group of six, I jumped into the shower so that at least I would look a little more pleasant, albeit wet, when others arrived. Brushed teeth, coaxed kids out of bed to no avail, and began to move more things out of the house.
The second group included my sweet Ecuadorian friend Nelly and her daughter who is now my goddaughter. (Three weeks ago I was asked to take Daniela's first communion with her and therefore became an important person in her family. When I realized that that meant that Doug was now a godfather, I couldn't help but smile.) Many tears, several hugs, lots of blessings spoken between us both, and handing off of my raincoat which I hope to never need again. Nelly is precious.
Our German friend who had adopted two Ashuar (a jungle tribe) children was next to arrive and she gave me a strong hug and prayed over our family. A very kind friend who we grew to appreciate greatly.
Finally, our neighbors from four different houses, our pastor, two families from outside the compound, and our driver all showed up between 8:30 and 8:45. It was a circus and I was the dancing bear! So many things in my head, sifting through shoes--which to keep, which to throw away--, what minor things to give away, what last words to share with each person, what photos would I like to take before departing. Then, I remembered that we hadn't taken our motion sickness pills an hour prior to our leaving! So, digging through packed suitcases to find my backpack which contained the necessary pills.
Seth received a cool Woarani spear and blow-dart gun from his friend, Selah did a few more jumps and runs with her fellow first grader, Darius received a warm goodbye from a mom who loved playing basketball with him, and Jacobey came out of the house looking confused by all the commotion.
Twenty-six people sending us off at 9:15 was not what we expected. They hugged....they prayed for us....they posed for pictures....they said kind words.....I cried. When we finally drove off in our van, three of the children chased us down the road till we turned the corner and were out of sight. I cried some more.
Though rushed and way more distracting than I expected, it was a send off that I appreciated more than I can express. It was just what I think we all needed and we were so grateful.
The remainder of the day was spent driving to Quito, staring out the window enjoying the countryside for the last time, genuinely missing the country of Ecuador. It is a beautiful place that now occupies a big spot in, I think, each of our hearts. I'm so glad that we still have three more days here to enjoy the people, the beauty, the language, and the culture.
Blessings, kim
So, at 7:45 am Doug and I flew out of bed and began moving suitcases outside. At 7:50 our first guests arrived to say good-bye. Not a pretty sight! Pajamas, glasses, hair every which way, funky morning breath, and the realization that this would be a final fair-well requiring lots of proximity. Yikes.
So once we said goodbye to this first group of six, I jumped into the shower so that at least I would look a little more pleasant, albeit wet, when others arrived. Brushed teeth, coaxed kids out of bed to no avail, and began to move more things out of the house.
The second group included my sweet Ecuadorian friend Nelly and her daughter who is now my goddaughter. (Three weeks ago I was asked to take Daniela's first communion with her and therefore became an important person in her family. When I realized that that meant that Doug was now a godfather, I couldn't help but smile.) Many tears, several hugs, lots of blessings spoken between us both, and handing off of my raincoat which I hope to never need again. Nelly is precious.
Our German friend who had adopted two Ashuar (a jungle tribe) children was next to arrive and she gave me a strong hug and prayed over our family. A very kind friend who we grew to appreciate greatly.
Finally, our neighbors from four different houses, our pastor, two families from outside the compound, and our driver all showed up between 8:30 and 8:45. It was a circus and I was the dancing bear! So many things in my head, sifting through shoes--which to keep, which to throw away--, what minor things to give away, what last words to share with each person, what photos would I like to take before departing. Then, I remembered that we hadn't taken our motion sickness pills an hour prior to our leaving! So, digging through packed suitcases to find my backpack which contained the necessary pills.
Seth received a cool Woarani spear and blow-dart gun from his friend, Selah did a few more jumps and runs with her fellow first grader, Darius received a warm goodbye from a mom who loved playing basketball with him, and Jacobey came out of the house looking confused by all the commotion.
Twenty-six people sending us off at 9:15 was not what we expected. They hugged....they prayed for us....they posed for pictures....they said kind words.....I cried. When we finally drove off in our van, three of the children chased us down the road till we turned the corner and were out of sight. I cried some more.
Though rushed and way more distracting than I expected, it was a send off that I appreciated more than I can express. It was just what I think we all needed and we were so grateful.
The remainder of the day was spent driving to Quito, staring out the window enjoying the countryside for the last time, genuinely missing the country of Ecuador. It is a beautiful place that now occupies a big spot in, I think, each of our hearts. I'm so glad that we still have three more days here to enjoy the people, the beauty, the language, and the culture.
Blessings, kim
Friday, June 5, 2015
Exhaustion
That's roughly where we are. Exhaustion.
The sand is running out of the hour glass (for those of you older like me, you'll know what I'm talking about) and the list of things to accomplish before this move has been long. Each day we've tried to have a balance of spending time with friends, saying good-byes to the our local friends and acquaintances, packing, and attending to school responsibilities. Knocking out things a little at a time has been key. Therefore the list is getting shorter and shorter by the day--which takes us in part as to why we're so wiped out.
The other part of the story is that we (mainly me) have begun to feel the symptoms of having parasites (extreme abdominal pain after beginning a meal) and that's somewhat draining on the body. Having parasites is one thing--it makes you miserable to eat so you avoid food completely--, but taking the medicine with its side effects is another. Oh the joys of bugs!
I've also shed more than my fair share of tears over the past week having to let go of some friendships which have been instrumental in my time here. Friends who I've shared few details with but who have known how my heart has felt. Often they have felt the same thing.
Here at the end I've discovered that the Lord has given us the opportunity to be like Christ in each of these challenging situations. Notice though that I used the word 'opportunity'. It's never been a requirement or a foregone conclusion that we would be Christ-like. It's simply been the opportunity to do the right thing: to speak kindly, to invite and include, to smile and initiate conversation, to serve and bless, to forgive and give grace. Sometimes we've done well; sometimes not so much.
For example, on Monday Doug was cheerful, kind, patient, forgiving, and loving toward everyone. He was genuinely full of joy and peace, singing, smiling, and really exhibiting a great attitude. Meanwhile I was beyond cranky and honestly ready to tear into anyone who said even the slightest annoying thing. It was really bad and I knew that I was going to greatly regret anything that came out of my mouth. I had gotten to the end of my rope and I wanted to say every mean thing I could think of. Thankfully and very prayerfully I managed to control my anger and frustration that whole day. By day's end I felt as if a major battle had been won.
So on Tuesday I wonderfully felt free from all those negative emotions and was able to really pour out grace and love on others. It came so easily. I didn't even have to think about it. I spent time with one person I had been furious with previously and I was able to be pleasant and loving--and honestly mean it. God was good! I had love where there had been none the day before.
Sadly though, while I was experiencing Doug's Monday attitude of love and joy, he was knee-deep in my ugly Monday junk of anger, bitterness, and a readiness to pounce. We had completely switched roles. Yet he too was able to control himself and felt as I had, that a major battle had been won by choosing to love instead of hate.
In the end we both observed that neither of us was able to 'work up kindness' in our hearts. It really was a supernatural thing (or said another way, something that was not of us and our will to do the right thing; it was from a source that was greater than the natural, physical self). It was the Spirit living in each of us that was giving us the strength. And because the Spirit lives there all the time, and on this particular occasion we choose to let Him determine our words and actions, we were able to witness the pouring out of the 'fruit of the Spirit' which are: love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. Neither of us had decided to fake niceness--the kindness and all things that came with it were genuine. We really were joyful, and loving, and self-controlled. But also, not only were they genuine, they were not attributed to us. They were all available and in abundance simply because we had chosen to cooperate with the Spirit.
Oh how it grieves me when I don't cooperate. When I take matters into my own hands and let my emotions and thoughts run wild. It's ugly and not anything like Christ.
Just something to ponder. I'm headed to bed......
Blessings, kim
The sand is running out of the hour glass (for those of you older like me, you'll know what I'm talking about) and the list of things to accomplish before this move has been long. Each day we've tried to have a balance of spending time with friends, saying good-byes to the our local friends and acquaintances, packing, and attending to school responsibilities. Knocking out things a little at a time has been key. Therefore the list is getting shorter and shorter by the day--which takes us in part as to why we're so wiped out.
The other part of the story is that we (mainly me) have begun to feel the symptoms of having parasites (extreme abdominal pain after beginning a meal) and that's somewhat draining on the body. Having parasites is one thing--it makes you miserable to eat so you avoid food completely--, but taking the medicine with its side effects is another. Oh the joys of bugs!
I've also shed more than my fair share of tears over the past week having to let go of some friendships which have been instrumental in my time here. Friends who I've shared few details with but who have known how my heart has felt. Often they have felt the same thing.
Here at the end I've discovered that the Lord has given us the opportunity to be like Christ in each of these challenging situations. Notice though that I used the word 'opportunity'. It's never been a requirement or a foregone conclusion that we would be Christ-like. It's simply been the opportunity to do the right thing: to speak kindly, to invite and include, to smile and initiate conversation, to serve and bless, to forgive and give grace. Sometimes we've done well; sometimes not so much.
For example, on Monday Doug was cheerful, kind, patient, forgiving, and loving toward everyone. He was genuinely full of joy and peace, singing, smiling, and really exhibiting a great attitude. Meanwhile I was beyond cranky and honestly ready to tear into anyone who said even the slightest annoying thing. It was really bad and I knew that I was going to greatly regret anything that came out of my mouth. I had gotten to the end of my rope and I wanted to say every mean thing I could think of. Thankfully and very prayerfully I managed to control my anger and frustration that whole day. By day's end I felt as if a major battle had been won.
So on Tuesday I wonderfully felt free from all those negative emotions and was able to really pour out grace and love on others. It came so easily. I didn't even have to think about it. I spent time with one person I had been furious with previously and I was able to be pleasant and loving--and honestly mean it. God was good! I had love where there had been none the day before.
Sadly though, while I was experiencing Doug's Monday attitude of love and joy, he was knee-deep in my ugly Monday junk of anger, bitterness, and a readiness to pounce. We had completely switched roles. Yet he too was able to control himself and felt as I had, that a major battle had been won by choosing to love instead of hate.
In the end we both observed that neither of us was able to 'work up kindness' in our hearts. It really was a supernatural thing (or said another way, something that was not of us and our will to do the right thing; it was from a source that was greater than the natural, physical self). It was the Spirit living in each of us that was giving us the strength. And because the Spirit lives there all the time, and on this particular occasion we choose to let Him determine our words and actions, we were able to witness the pouring out of the 'fruit of the Spirit' which are: love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. Neither of us had decided to fake niceness--the kindness and all things that came with it were genuine. We really were joyful, and loving, and self-controlled. But also, not only were they genuine, they were not attributed to us. They were all available and in abundance simply because we had chosen to cooperate with the Spirit.
Oh how it grieves me when I don't cooperate. When I take matters into my own hands and let my emotions and thoughts run wild. It's ugly and not anything like Christ.
Just something to ponder. I'm headed to bed......
Blessings, kim
Monday, June 1, 2015
Approval
So whose approval are you living for?
Your parents', siblings', neighbors', colleagues', fellow church members'? Some one else?
Ever consider who you really are living to impress? And, do you think you're actually impressing them and that you have their approval? WOW, I was doing okay until I got to that question.
The entire day today I wrestled with that question. Who am I trying to win over? Who am I trying to impress with the things that I do? And, do I actually believe that it's getting me somewhere?
We are in real trouble if we believe in our hearts that we can win people over. For if we win one person over, we're sure to disappoint another. We are sure to make enemies before we know it because you simply cannot make everyone happy all at the same time.
But, more importantly, we were not created to be people pleasers. People are fickle. They have finite wisdom and selfish desires. Impressing one person today may mean something completely different tomorrow. Instead, we were created to commune with God and to closely align with His desires and His call upon our life. To attempt to live up to the call that another gives us and then to work hard to gain their approval is a losing battle.
We must determine in our hearts to simply do as the Lord has instructed us and to see that is it only for Him that we move and breathe. I hope to really live and act and do what is right and not what is popular or going to be approved of. . . . I want to live for more than the applause of the moment..
Blessings, kim
Your parents', siblings', neighbors', colleagues', fellow church members'? Some one else?
Ever consider who you really are living to impress? And, do you think you're actually impressing them and that you have their approval? WOW, I was doing okay until I got to that question.
The entire day today I wrestled with that question. Who am I trying to win over? Who am I trying to impress with the things that I do? And, do I actually believe that it's getting me somewhere?
We are in real trouble if we believe in our hearts that we can win people over. For if we win one person over, we're sure to disappoint another. We are sure to make enemies before we know it because you simply cannot make everyone happy all at the same time.
But, more importantly, we were not created to be people pleasers. People are fickle. They have finite wisdom and selfish desires. Impressing one person today may mean something completely different tomorrow. Instead, we were created to commune with God and to closely align with His desires and His call upon our life. To attempt to live up to the call that another gives us and then to work hard to gain their approval is a losing battle.
We must determine in our hearts to simply do as the Lord has instructed us and to see that is it only for Him that we move and breathe. I hope to really live and act and do what is right and not what is popular or going to be approved of. . . . I want to live for more than the applause of the moment..
Blessings, kim
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Trust
"Do you trust me?" was the question I felt being repeated over and over again last night as I lay in bed unable to sleep. "Do you trust me?"
He was asking, "If you forgive those who have rejected you, do you trust me to heal your heart?
"If you choose to not repay evil with evil and instead choose to do good and to bless others, do you trust me to bless you in return?"
"If you choose not to obsess and worry about how you should respond but instead let me do your thinking for you, do you trust me to give you the right words when you need them at the right time?"
"If you choose to put me first in every single area of your life, do you trust me to take care of you well?
It certainly was so much easier to lay in bed upset, hurt, angry, obsessing, and brooding over how I should best repay this latest hurt. It was easy making up conversations with people that I feel have really been honestly very uncaring or at times down right mean. It was easy drumming up lots of emotion and justification for feeling the way I did.
However, it was getting me more and more upset, causing my heart to race and my mind to race, and it was getting me no where. It wasn't making me feel any better. In fact, it was making me feel worse and worse by the moment. And, it was keeping me from sleep--a very important commodity.
I felt like the discussion between the Lord and I was over whether I would let this latest hurtful situation ruin me, my sleep, my appetite, and my Christian witness, or if I were going to decide to do the right thing anyway and completely trust that whatever resulted would be for my good.
In my mind, it became a Gethsemane moment--a moment where I was struggling enormously with the way we had been treated and I was struggling to keep my mind focused on what was the right thing to do. Jesus had struggled there in the garden with the burden of what was to come--His crucifixion--knowing that He would be wrongly accused and treated more horribly than one can bear. Though His circumstances were infinitely more devastating and demanding, I felt last night as if the question were still the same:
"Do you trust me with your life? Will you follow through on what you have committed to do? Will you love your enemies even when they wish to have nothing to do with you? Will you rest in Me and in My ways instead of in your own limited, fallible ones?"
It took three separate times during the night for me to wrestle with the Lord over this decision, and thankfully, three separate times I had to concede that being in His hands and doing things His way was certainly a much safer and wiser road than the one I was headed on. I'm happy to report that sleep did come immediately on each occasion when I said that I would trust Him because, as the scripture says, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."
May we keep trusting.....
Blessings, kim
He was asking, "If you forgive those who have rejected you, do you trust me to heal your heart?
"If you choose to not repay evil with evil and instead choose to do good and to bless others, do you trust me to bless you in return?"
"If you choose not to obsess and worry about how you should respond but instead let me do your thinking for you, do you trust me to give you the right words when you need them at the right time?"
"If you choose to put me first in every single area of your life, do you trust me to take care of you well?
It certainly was so much easier to lay in bed upset, hurt, angry, obsessing, and brooding over how I should best repay this latest hurt. It was easy making up conversations with people that I feel have really been honestly very uncaring or at times down right mean. It was easy drumming up lots of emotion and justification for feeling the way I did.
However, it was getting me more and more upset, causing my heart to race and my mind to race, and it was getting me no where. It wasn't making me feel any better. In fact, it was making me feel worse and worse by the moment. And, it was keeping me from sleep--a very important commodity.
I felt like the discussion between the Lord and I was over whether I would let this latest hurtful situation ruin me, my sleep, my appetite, and my Christian witness, or if I were going to decide to do the right thing anyway and completely trust that whatever resulted would be for my good.
In my mind, it became a Gethsemane moment--a moment where I was struggling enormously with the way we had been treated and I was struggling to keep my mind focused on what was the right thing to do. Jesus had struggled there in the garden with the burden of what was to come--His crucifixion--knowing that He would be wrongly accused and treated more horribly than one can bear. Though His circumstances were infinitely more devastating and demanding, I felt last night as if the question were still the same:
"Do you trust me with your life? Will you follow through on what you have committed to do? Will you love your enemies even when they wish to have nothing to do with you? Will you rest in Me and in My ways instead of in your own limited, fallible ones?"
It took three separate times during the night for me to wrestle with the Lord over this decision, and thankfully, three separate times I had to concede that being in His hands and doing things His way was certainly a much safer and wiser road than the one I was headed on. I'm happy to report that sleep did come immediately on each occasion when I said that I would trust Him because, as the scripture says, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."
May we keep trusting.....
Blessings, kim
Thursday, May 28, 2015
The Sabbath
Today in Bible class the kids and I were reading from the end of John's gospel. (We've read through the four gospels this school year and it's been a wonderful journey.) We were reading today that just prior to Jesus' death He said, "It is finished," and then He gave up His Spirit. These were familiar words to us all since we'd already read through Matthew, Mark, and Luke and were much aware of the last moments of our Savior's life.
Well, in the story that John tells, he reports that shortly after Jesus' death He was taken down from the cross and laid out so that His body could be wrapped with linen cloth and spices. Joseph and Nicodemus took care of Him and laid Him in the tomb. The reason John gives for their need to prepare His body so quickly was because the next day would be a Special Sabbath. And, as we know, no work is to be done on the Sabbath--it is a day of rest. We paused and considered that for a few minutes.
"It is finished" + Special Sabbath.....?
Where else have we heard that in the Bible?
Then it hit me. In Genesis, God created the heavens and the earth and all that we know of in six days. When He finished with His creation, He rested. Was that not a very Special Sabbath as well?
Thus, it was finished + Special Sabbath.....
Interesting. I love it when the Bible shows me new things that I've never noticed before.
Blessings, kim
Well, in the story that John tells, he reports that shortly after Jesus' death He was taken down from the cross and laid out so that His body could be wrapped with linen cloth and spices. Joseph and Nicodemus took care of Him and laid Him in the tomb. The reason John gives for their need to prepare His body so quickly was because the next day would be a Special Sabbath. And, as we know, no work is to be done on the Sabbath--it is a day of rest. We paused and considered that for a few minutes.
"It is finished" + Special Sabbath.....?
Where else have we heard that in the Bible?
Then it hit me. In Genesis, God created the heavens and the earth and all that we know of in six days. When He finished with His creation, He rested. Was that not a very Special Sabbath as well?
Thus, it was finished + Special Sabbath.....
Interesting. I love it when the Bible shows me new things that I've never noticed before.
Blessings, kim
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Freedom in Christ
What is Freedom in Christ? I'll describe it as:
Allowing other Christian believers to live as the Lord calls them to. It's letting them live out their Christian walk in the way that they believe is best. It's not getting in their way if they know that the Lord has allowed them to do things differently from the way He's told us to do things. It's knowing that God did not make us all exactly the same, therefore, He doesn't expect us all to live exactly in the same way. He expects us to listen to Him and His voice more than we are to listen to the voices and prompting of others. What this also implies then is that we don't correct others on their choices unless it is blatant sin.
I don't believe we're very good in the Christian community at allowing others to experience freedom in Christ. I think we too often see how another person is living and we decide in our own hearts that they have chosen poorly. We then express to them our disapproval of their ways and we shut down their sense of freedom and sense of acceptance from the Lord.
This grieves me so. I can see now that I have done this very thing--this lack of love and acceptance for others and their ways of doing things. This is not a building of the Christian family; it is a tearing apart. It is living contrary to the ways of Jesus.
I see my own past culpability in the lives of others because this year I have experienced that same thing myself. I have been in one relationship in particular that has this at the core. One person in my midst here has expressed to me over and over and over again that the way I do things is not the way they would. The person has been quick to find fault with me and has let me know on numerous occasions that the way I live is counter to the way they do. Oh how painful this has been. It has torn me apart and has caused me anger, frustration, sadness, remorse, longing, and despair at times. It's cost me many a night's sleep and has made me seek, on more than one occasion, reconciliation and restoration which I knew would never come. I simply have not matched up to their expectations.
Being on the receiving end of such a terrible, debilitating experience has opened my eyes to the horrible state that this puts someone in. Thankfully, it's caused me to look outward to question: Am I that way with anyone? Do I shackle anyone in my midst and steal their freedom in Christ?
I'm of course equally horrified to report that the answer is yes. I have stolen the freedom of others. I have made others feel as if their ways were not 'right' or 'best'. Many times across the years, I have done that with friends, family, neighbors, small group members, my children, and those who were walking down the path alongside me. I too have stolen freedom that only Christ can give.
May we all look at how we perceive others and their choices--and may we all walk alongside and encourage others to listen to the Lord, instead of listening to us. He knows best, not us.
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim
Allowing other Christian believers to live as the Lord calls them to. It's letting them live out their Christian walk in the way that they believe is best. It's not getting in their way if they know that the Lord has allowed them to do things differently from the way He's told us to do things. It's knowing that God did not make us all exactly the same, therefore, He doesn't expect us all to live exactly in the same way. He expects us to listen to Him and His voice more than we are to listen to the voices and prompting of others. What this also implies then is that we don't correct others on their choices unless it is blatant sin.
I don't believe we're very good in the Christian community at allowing others to experience freedom in Christ. I think we too often see how another person is living and we decide in our own hearts that they have chosen poorly. We then express to them our disapproval of their ways and we shut down their sense of freedom and sense of acceptance from the Lord.
This grieves me so. I can see now that I have done this very thing--this lack of love and acceptance for others and their ways of doing things. This is not a building of the Christian family; it is a tearing apart. It is living contrary to the ways of Jesus.
I see my own past culpability in the lives of others because this year I have experienced that same thing myself. I have been in one relationship in particular that has this at the core. One person in my midst here has expressed to me over and over and over again that the way I do things is not the way they would. The person has been quick to find fault with me and has let me know on numerous occasions that the way I live is counter to the way they do. Oh how painful this has been. It has torn me apart and has caused me anger, frustration, sadness, remorse, longing, and despair at times. It's cost me many a night's sleep and has made me seek, on more than one occasion, reconciliation and restoration which I knew would never come. I simply have not matched up to their expectations.
Being on the receiving end of such a terrible, debilitating experience has opened my eyes to the horrible state that this puts someone in. Thankfully, it's caused me to look outward to question: Am I that way with anyone? Do I shackle anyone in my midst and steal their freedom in Christ?
I'm of course equally horrified to report that the answer is yes. I have stolen the freedom of others. I have made others feel as if their ways were not 'right' or 'best'. Many times across the years, I have done that with friends, family, neighbors, small group members, my children, and those who were walking down the path alongside me. I too have stolen freedom that only Christ can give.
May we all look at how we perceive others and their choices--and may we all walk alongside and encourage others to listen to the Lord, instead of listening to us. He knows best, not us.
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim
Monday, May 25, 2015
Trust
So at this point in our journey we are more and more focused on our return to the States. We do have packing, saying goodbyes, doing things 'one last time', clearing out space in the house, and closing up shop at the school to take care of before we leave. But, mentally, we're beginning to shift to the 'What's next?' phase of our lives.
What IS next? That's the question people are asking us. That's the question we're asking the Lord. So far, the question has greatly gone unanswered. We know at this moment that my dad will pick us up from the airport, that it's my mom's birthday the day we arrive, that our now seemingly-too-large house awaits us, that we will have two wonderful sets of wheels ready for us to drive (Praise God!), and that our family, neighbors, friends, and church will be a sight for sore eyes.
We also know that places like Chick-Fil-A, Target, the YMCA, and our neighborhood parks and pools will be some of the first places we stop. Ah...to be home again.
But then what? Well, not sure. We know that the Lord has told us to pray and to trust in Him. So, that's what we're doing. We're trusting. And, you know, it's really kinda cool. Neither Doug nor I are honestly worried at this moment. We both know that the Lord will provide the job and the focus of our next chapter, and He'll do it in His timing. He'll probably not tell us these things early (though I am praying that he provides Doug a job prior to our coming back to the States), but we trust that the Lord will take care of all the details.
So why do we trust in this? Well, it goes back to two years ago when He pretty clearly showed us that we needed to move here in the first place. He really convinced us that if He calls us to something--and at that time it was to Ecuador--, then He's going to have details fall into place--housesitters, carsitters, funding, flights, etc. In the end, He took care of it all--every single detail.
Therefore, we know that since the Lord has been good to provide us His care through this experience, we know too that He'll provide His care through the next. But please note, being a Christian does not mean that all will be easy, nor does it mean that it will all work out exactly the way I want it to.
What it means to be a Christian is to know--and I mean to really know--that our God is good and that He will take care of us in His timing, in His way, and for His glory. I can trust in Him.
Blessings, kim
What IS next? That's the question people are asking us. That's the question we're asking the Lord. So far, the question has greatly gone unanswered. We know at this moment that my dad will pick us up from the airport, that it's my mom's birthday the day we arrive, that our now seemingly-too-large house awaits us, that we will have two wonderful sets of wheels ready for us to drive (Praise God!), and that our family, neighbors, friends, and church will be a sight for sore eyes.
We also know that places like Chick-Fil-A, Target, the YMCA, and our neighborhood parks and pools will be some of the first places we stop. Ah...to be home again.
But then what? Well, not sure. We know that the Lord has told us to pray and to trust in Him. So, that's what we're doing. We're trusting. And, you know, it's really kinda cool. Neither Doug nor I are honestly worried at this moment. We both know that the Lord will provide the job and the focus of our next chapter, and He'll do it in His timing. He'll probably not tell us these things early (though I am praying that he provides Doug a job prior to our coming back to the States), but we trust that the Lord will take care of all the details.
So why do we trust in this? Well, it goes back to two years ago when He pretty clearly showed us that we needed to move here in the first place. He really convinced us that if He calls us to something--and at that time it was to Ecuador--, then He's going to have details fall into place--housesitters, carsitters, funding, flights, etc. In the end, He took care of it all--every single detail.
Therefore, we know that since the Lord has been good to provide us His care through this experience, we know too that He'll provide His care through the next. But please note, being a Christian does not mean that all will be easy, nor does it mean that it will all work out exactly the way I want it to.
What it means to be a Christian is to know--and I mean to really know--that our God is good and that He will take care of us in His timing, in His way, and for His glory. I can trust in Him.
Blessings, kim
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Why we go to church
While in the service today I contemplated why I decided to attend church this morning. It was a funny thing. I go to church just about every Sunday--usually only if we're in the middle of traveling or if the Lord has specifically told me to remain home will I miss out. Yet this Sunday I went and then wondered why I was there. Was I there to see people? to get my Sunday morning fix? to hear a good, convicting message that would spur me on to greater living? to teach or attend Sunday school or any number of other classes hosted by the church? to show others in the community that I am a faithful church goer?
All good reasons but certainly not the best. All reasons that are about me or about how I will be perceived by others. If any of these are the reason we go to church, then we probably should just stay home.
This morning the Lord pointed out to me that the reason I am in church is to worship Him. I am there for Him--not for me. I am there to focus on Him, to sing to Him, to learn about Him, to grow in my adoration of Him, and to praise Him. My being in church is not about me. It's all about Him.
Yes, I will see people near and dear to my heart. I will hear a message that will urge me to live a life more like Christ. I will possibly even serve others while I'm in the building. But the reason I go to church is so that I will stand alongside my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ as I focus completely on Him and give Him all the glory and attention that He deserves.
So why do you go to church?.......
Blessings, kim
All good reasons but certainly not the best. All reasons that are about me or about how I will be perceived by others. If any of these are the reason we go to church, then we probably should just stay home.
This morning the Lord pointed out to me that the reason I am in church is to worship Him. I am there for Him--not for me. I am there to focus on Him, to sing to Him, to learn about Him, to grow in my adoration of Him, and to praise Him. My being in church is not about me. It's all about Him.
Yes, I will see people near and dear to my heart. I will hear a message that will urge me to live a life more like Christ. I will possibly even serve others while I'm in the building. But the reason I go to church is so that I will stand alongside my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ as I focus completely on Him and give Him all the glory and attention that He deserves.
So why do you go to church?.......
Blessings, kim
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Obedience
A few days ago I wrote this scripture verse on the white marker board in my classroom: "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name and in Your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from Me, you evildoers!"
A number of my friends and I agree, this is one of the scariest verses in the entire Bible. It makes me acutely aware that there will be hoards of people that believe that will be spending eternity with God, and yet they will not. I have pondered this verse a number of times and then the other day as I wrote, the answer struck me. "...(O)nly the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven," will go to be with Him.
Does that mean that only the ones who follow the 10 Commandments? Only the ones who obey God perfectly? Only the missionaries, the pastors, the Sunday School teachers, the church goers? Only the ones who live lives that are more good than bad? What does that mean?
I sensed that the Lord was telling me that those definitions all fall short. None fits this verse.
The "...(O)ne who does the will of my Father who is in heaven," means those who obey what God has told them to do. Those who do exactly what He has instructed them to do are the ones that follow Him to heaven. If He bids them to come to Him and to accept Christ as their Savior, then they are to do so. If He calls them to adopt, then they are to do so. If He calls them to sell their things and move elsewhere, they are to do so. What about even crazier things? Didn't Abraham put his son on the altar (even though Abraham had waited years and years to have a son)? Didn't Noah build an ark (even though he lived in a very dry place and the people around him thought he was crazy)? Didn't Joshua march and shout around the city of Jericho (even though the people of Jericho had weapons and looked at him as if he was a nut)? Didn't Gideon tell a large number of troops to go home (even though the opposing army was way bigger than his)?
In each of these instances, the command of the Lord was to do something quite a bit out of the ordinary. Others would call them nutty or even bizarre. But, the men in these examples carried out the commands of the Lord anyway. They were more concerned with obeying the voice that they had heard from God than worrying with the crowd and it's uninformed opinion.
Thus, in considering the verse from Matthew 7 which I mentioned at the top of this entry, we would be wise and very mindful of the eternity which lies ahead, to do what the Lord has called us to do. In fact, to disobey the voice of the Lord and to choose instead to follow the crowd because it's easier or less nutty, could eventually lead you down a path you won't want to follow. Another verse in Matthew says, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it (7:13)".
Obey the Lord. Period.
You never know where it'll lead you.....
Blessings, kim
A number of my friends and I agree, this is one of the scariest verses in the entire Bible. It makes me acutely aware that there will be hoards of people that believe that will be spending eternity with God, and yet they will not. I have pondered this verse a number of times and then the other day as I wrote, the answer struck me. "...(O)nly the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven," will go to be with Him.
Does that mean that only the ones who follow the 10 Commandments? Only the ones who obey God perfectly? Only the missionaries, the pastors, the Sunday School teachers, the church goers? Only the ones who live lives that are more good than bad? What does that mean?
I sensed that the Lord was telling me that those definitions all fall short. None fits this verse.
The "...(O)ne who does the will of my Father who is in heaven," means those who obey what God has told them to do. Those who do exactly what He has instructed them to do are the ones that follow Him to heaven. If He bids them to come to Him and to accept Christ as their Savior, then they are to do so. If He calls them to adopt, then they are to do so. If He calls them to sell their things and move elsewhere, they are to do so. What about even crazier things? Didn't Abraham put his son on the altar (even though Abraham had waited years and years to have a son)? Didn't Noah build an ark (even though he lived in a very dry place and the people around him thought he was crazy)? Didn't Joshua march and shout around the city of Jericho (even though the people of Jericho had weapons and looked at him as if he was a nut)? Didn't Gideon tell a large number of troops to go home (even though the opposing army was way bigger than his)?
In each of these instances, the command of the Lord was to do something quite a bit out of the ordinary. Others would call them nutty or even bizarre. But, the men in these examples carried out the commands of the Lord anyway. They were more concerned with obeying the voice that they had heard from God than worrying with the crowd and it's uninformed opinion.
Thus, in considering the verse from Matthew 7 which I mentioned at the top of this entry, we would be wise and very mindful of the eternity which lies ahead, to do what the Lord has called us to do. In fact, to disobey the voice of the Lord and to choose instead to follow the crowd because it's easier or less nutty, could eventually lead you down a path you won't want to follow. Another verse in Matthew says, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it (7:13)".
Obey the Lord. Period.
You never know where it'll lead you.....
Blessings, kim
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Faith
Today when Doug and I sat with our cuppa joe on the couches and had our morning prayer and chatting time, we read from the Oswald Chambers devotional an entry that spoke about the topic of faith. Something in his writing took my mind to the scripture from the book of James that says, "Faith without works is dead." I'm not sure why, but the Lord immediately showed me that my previous understanding of the verse was incorrect, and he instantly gave me a new interpretation for what James was saying.
In the past, I had always operated on the belief that James was commenting on lives that only said they believed but actually had nothing to show for it. They were not people that attended church, served their neighbors, spent time blessing others, or shared the gospel with a lost and dying world. In essence, if we live a life which is not continuously looking for ways to display our Christian walk, then we are not operating in faith. The focus is on what we're doing and what kind of impact it's having. The focus is on us.
Well, this morning the Lord turned that theory on its head and showed me that that's not what He's saying at all. Instead, James is saying something even more simple and yet, more profound, than that. He's stating that faith unaccompanied by a willingness to obey God's leading and calling is not faith at all; it's dead. This does not mean that I get to decide what I do to serve Him--He does. If I do all the deciding, then it's not faith at all. It's me merely doing what I want to do.
WOW. That makes so much more sense and yet, it's so much more challenging to live out. I can therefore say that I'm a Christian but if I don't listen to the Lord and obey what He tells me or leads me to do, then I'm really not a Christian. My walk with the Lord will lead me nowhere and my actions 'for Him' are really not actually 'for Him', they are for me.
Profound. James is saying that the focus is to be no longer on me and my actions and how I'm impacting the world. Instead, it's on the Lord and His words and simply whether I will obey or not. And, like in our understanding of the world of children, the expectation is that we will obey--not when we're ready, not when we feel like it, not when we are given the entire picture of why we should obey. Simply put, if we say we believe, why don't we listen and obey?
Something to ponder.
Blessings, kim
In the past, I had always operated on the belief that James was commenting on lives that only said they believed but actually had nothing to show for it. They were not people that attended church, served their neighbors, spent time blessing others, or shared the gospel with a lost and dying world. In essence, if we live a life which is not continuously looking for ways to display our Christian walk, then we are not operating in faith. The focus is on what we're doing and what kind of impact it's having. The focus is on us.
Well, this morning the Lord turned that theory on its head and showed me that that's not what He's saying at all. Instead, James is saying something even more simple and yet, more profound, than that. He's stating that faith unaccompanied by a willingness to obey God's leading and calling is not faith at all; it's dead. This does not mean that I get to decide what I do to serve Him--He does. If I do all the deciding, then it's not faith at all. It's me merely doing what I want to do.
WOW. That makes so much more sense and yet, it's so much more challenging to live out. I can therefore say that I'm a Christian but if I don't listen to the Lord and obey what He tells me or leads me to do, then I'm really not a Christian. My walk with the Lord will lead me nowhere and my actions 'for Him' are really not actually 'for Him', they are for me.
Profound. James is saying that the focus is to be no longer on me and my actions and how I'm impacting the world. Instead, it's on the Lord and His words and simply whether I will obey or not. And, like in our understanding of the world of children, the expectation is that we will obey--not when we're ready, not when we feel like it, not when we are given the entire picture of why we should obey. Simply put, if we say we believe, why don't we listen and obey?
Something to ponder.
Blessings, kim
Top 10 Things I will not miss about being away
So, after doing an entry about things I will miss, I thought it time to do one about things I won't. These are in no particular order:
10. Living in a borrowed house with furnishing, dishes, beds, sheets, and décor that is not ours. It will be wonderful to return to a home that resembles the attitude and preferences of our family.
9. Waking up each day with new bites on my body from something that must have had a banquet in the night.
8. Rubbing my irritated eyes which are red from the volcano 30 miles away that spews ash fairly frequently.
7. Soaking fruits and vegetables for five minutes prior to eating them. (And, having to carefully pick out all the worms and bugs from my lettuce and eggplant.)
6. Fixing everything from scratch while operating from a very limited menu of possibilities. For example, being able to buy only beef or chicken at the butcher.
5. Spending Sunday mornings with my family in church where they cannot follow the message and therefore have less than a complete idea of what's being said.
4. Arriving to school drenched from head to toe, and covered in mud, even though I'm wearing a rain coat.
3. Being so unbearably far away from the people that we love and that love us.
2. Wearing these faded, holey, worn, too-small, ripped, stained, pitiful clothes and shoes. Even our new clothes from August are way beyond repair.
1. Having to pass on many things simply because I don't have a car (restaurants, groceries, hair appointments, travel to the many interesting sites here, etc.)
I have really loved Ecuador and the beauty of it's countryside and people, but there are a few things that I will gladly leave behind. : )
Blessings, kim
10. Living in a borrowed house with furnishing, dishes, beds, sheets, and décor that is not ours. It will be wonderful to return to a home that resembles the attitude and preferences of our family.
9. Waking up each day with new bites on my body from something that must have had a banquet in the night.
8. Rubbing my irritated eyes which are red from the volcano 30 miles away that spews ash fairly frequently.
7. Soaking fruits and vegetables for five minutes prior to eating them. (And, having to carefully pick out all the worms and bugs from my lettuce and eggplant.)
6. Fixing everything from scratch while operating from a very limited menu of possibilities. For example, being able to buy only beef or chicken at the butcher.
5. Spending Sunday mornings with my family in church where they cannot follow the message and therefore have less than a complete idea of what's being said.
4. Arriving to school drenched from head to toe, and covered in mud, even though I'm wearing a rain coat.
3. Being so unbearably far away from the people that we love and that love us.
2. Wearing these faded, holey, worn, too-small, ripped, stained, pitiful clothes and shoes. Even our new clothes from August are way beyond repair.
1. Having to pass on many things simply because I don't have a car (restaurants, groceries, hair appointments, travel to the many interesting sites here, etc.)
I have really loved Ecuador and the beauty of it's countryside and people, but there are a few things that I will gladly leave behind. : )
Blessings, kim
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Top 10 things we will miss the most about living in Ecuador
10. Leaving the house in the morning, and seeing off in the not-too-far-distance the mountains, clouds, rainforest, and at times, two volcanos. I never get tired of the view.
9. Walking to the pharmacy, bakery, shoe repairman, bicycle repairman, butcher, and veggie market without needing a car to get me there.
8. Speaking in Spanish as a regular part of my day...even more, as a regular part of my kids' day. I love it when they have conversations at home in Spanish (sadly, and a bit humorously, they use Texas accents on purpose to make their Spanish sound twangy).
7. Eating very lean beef--cows here are simply not pumped up with all the chemicals that ours back in the States are.
6. Having nothing to do in the evenings and on the weekends. We have no soccer practice, swim meets, drama club, birthday parties, prior commitments, etc. that requires us to rush around from place to place without time to breathe.
5. Enjoying 65-85 degree weather all day, every day. Yes, shorts are always appropriate, and no, a sweater is never necessary.
4. Eating the most exotic fruits and veggies that are dirt cheap and ever available. Bananas, strawberries, watermelon, cucumbers, limes, avocadoes, guayaba, mangos, pitahaya, mora, uvillas, naranjillas, and so forth.
3. Letting my kids play in the jungle with big machetes knowing that they're having fun. (Never thought I'd say such a thing....)
2. Hearing no noise at night when we lay in bed except for the occasional dog barking in the distance. It is super quiet and, on an overcast night, super dark. Peaceful.
1. Knowing that an era has ended will cause me to be sad that we will no longer be considered "missionaries". Yet I know we will only be called to do something else, someplace else, working with someone else. Being a missionary, as I've come to discover, is more of a mindset than an occupation. It's simply being intentional about loving those you're with, whoever that might be. May we all love and serve others wherever we find ourselves....
Blessings, kim
9. Walking to the pharmacy, bakery, shoe repairman, bicycle repairman, butcher, and veggie market without needing a car to get me there.
8. Speaking in Spanish as a regular part of my day...even more, as a regular part of my kids' day. I love it when they have conversations at home in Spanish (sadly, and a bit humorously, they use Texas accents on purpose to make their Spanish sound twangy).
7. Eating very lean beef--cows here are simply not pumped up with all the chemicals that ours back in the States are.
6. Having nothing to do in the evenings and on the weekends. We have no soccer practice, swim meets, drama club, birthday parties, prior commitments, etc. that requires us to rush around from place to place without time to breathe.
5. Enjoying 65-85 degree weather all day, every day. Yes, shorts are always appropriate, and no, a sweater is never necessary.
4. Eating the most exotic fruits and veggies that are dirt cheap and ever available. Bananas, strawberries, watermelon, cucumbers, limes, avocadoes, guayaba, mangos, pitahaya, mora, uvillas, naranjillas, and so forth.
3. Letting my kids play in the jungle with big machetes knowing that they're having fun. (Never thought I'd say such a thing....)
2. Hearing no noise at night when we lay in bed except for the occasional dog barking in the distance. It is super quiet and, on an overcast night, super dark. Peaceful.
1. Knowing that an era has ended will cause me to be sad that we will no longer be considered "missionaries". Yet I know we will only be called to do something else, someplace else, working with someone else. Being a missionary, as I've come to discover, is more of a mindset than an occupation. It's simply being intentional about loving those you're with, whoever that might be. May we all love and serve others wherever we find ourselves....
Blessings, kim
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Preparing for a departure
We have a little more than six weeks left before we travel back to the US for what we believe is a permanent move. At this point in the journey, most would be pulling out suitcases, finding things to give away, selling those lesser-needed items, and clearing out spaces to be tidied up. In our house, we have slowly begun to do these things. Doug's developed a list of items for sale and has alerted those among us that we're ready to release some of our possessions.
For example, Jacobey sold his seven inch jungle knife just yesterday. (If we'd taken it to the States, it would have been considered a weapon, and we would have been considered nuts to have allowed our eleven year old to bear arms. You know though, when in Rome.....) I've already given away the shoes that Darius grew out of before he wore them very much; I figured my Ecuadorian friend's grandson would appreciate them more than Jacobey would two years from now when he finally grows into them. The list goes on and on.
So, some of these tasks have begun to get our attention. We're pondering what to keep, what to leave, what to sell, what to give away. All lists, except for the first, are fairly long. Yet, it is not just material possessions that have captured our focus for these remaining weeks. Doug and I have found ourselves shifting from the physical to the emotional, the mental, the spiritual. We now are more attuned to what we will be taking with us in our hearts, minds, and spirits. These are the greater things. And, we are more attuned to what we will be leaving behind....
For one, I noticed my husband (I'm having a hard time not crying as I write this) just a couple of days ago allow someone to completely disrespect him. The person informed him of their dislike for him in no uncertain terms and in their unwillingness to come to resolution with him. My husband's response? He completely forgave, did not hold a grudge, chose to serve the person anyway, and is not devastated by the entire situation! I see my man has chosen the better way. He's chosen the way of Christ--a by far much, much harder thing to do than to be resentful and overwhelmed with anger and hatred. Doug's therefore chosen to leave behind baggage that has no benefit for us as we move away. He has been molded into a stronger follower of the One who moved us here in the first place. After all that he's experienced, my sweet husband still chooses to say,
...I am blessed to have eaten lunch with my wife and kids every day.
...I am blessed to have spent time folding clothes, doing dishes by hand, and serving my family in many chores.
...I am blessed to have gone without a car, a big house, a yard so that I could spend more time just with my family.
...I am blessed to have worked at a job that took me out of my comfort zone so that I could learn much more about schooling younger kids.
...I am blessed to have served and worked with others who did not know me or appreciate me so that I could learn how to work for the Lord and not for man.
...I am blessed to have known little Spanish in a place where it is necessary so that I could see what others experience.
My husband chooses to see this trial as one that blessed him rather than disabled him. I'm so proud of such a man! We truly will return different people...
Praise God.
Blessings, kim
For example, Jacobey sold his seven inch jungle knife just yesterday. (If we'd taken it to the States, it would have been considered a weapon, and we would have been considered nuts to have allowed our eleven year old to bear arms. You know though, when in Rome.....) I've already given away the shoes that Darius grew out of before he wore them very much; I figured my Ecuadorian friend's grandson would appreciate them more than Jacobey would two years from now when he finally grows into them. The list goes on and on.
So, some of these tasks have begun to get our attention. We're pondering what to keep, what to leave, what to sell, what to give away. All lists, except for the first, are fairly long. Yet, it is not just material possessions that have captured our focus for these remaining weeks. Doug and I have found ourselves shifting from the physical to the emotional, the mental, the spiritual. We now are more attuned to what we will be taking with us in our hearts, minds, and spirits. These are the greater things. And, we are more attuned to what we will be leaving behind....
For one, I noticed my husband (I'm having a hard time not crying as I write this) just a couple of days ago allow someone to completely disrespect him. The person informed him of their dislike for him in no uncertain terms and in their unwillingness to come to resolution with him. My husband's response? He completely forgave, did not hold a grudge, chose to serve the person anyway, and is not devastated by the entire situation! I see my man has chosen the better way. He's chosen the way of Christ--a by far much, much harder thing to do than to be resentful and overwhelmed with anger and hatred. Doug's therefore chosen to leave behind baggage that has no benefit for us as we move away. He has been molded into a stronger follower of the One who moved us here in the first place. After all that he's experienced, my sweet husband still chooses to say,
...I am blessed to have eaten lunch with my wife and kids every day.
...I am blessed to have spent time folding clothes, doing dishes by hand, and serving my family in many chores.
...I am blessed to have gone without a car, a big house, a yard so that I could spend more time just with my family.
...I am blessed to have worked at a job that took me out of my comfort zone so that I could learn much more about schooling younger kids.
...I am blessed to have served and worked with others who did not know me or appreciate me so that I could learn how to work for the Lord and not for man.
...I am blessed to have known little Spanish in a place where it is necessary so that I could see what others experience.
My husband chooses to see this trial as one that blessed him rather than disabled him. I'm so proud of such a man! We truly will return different people...
Praise God.
Blessings, kim
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Grace and More Grace
I think I mentioned in our last posting that we had had a wonderful time in Cuenca, a more modern, clean, mountainous city here in Ecuador which happens to be about an eight hour bus ride away from our small town of Shell. As mentioned, though we had fully enjoyed our time there, we certainly struggled to enjoy the journey there (cramming the six of us into four seats for an eight hour overnight bus ride) and the preparation for the journey back (having our scheduled driver cancel his services the night before our departure). Yet, I am really happy to report that neither of these two things have diminished our fondness for the place or for the memories we made. In fact, Doug and I chatted this weekend about how easy it was for us to forgive and move on from the whole affair. We both knew that we could have easily held a grudge or smoldered in anger for a number of hours if not days regarding these wrongs done to us. We certainly had "the right" to do so. In spite of that fact, tt's funny--neither of us kept our anger and we both agreed to put the issue aside. It almost was as if we chose not to invest any further emotional energy in the wrong. We ceased to allow it to drain us or distract us or annoy us.
Hmm. I know I've walked this path before in having to decide whether to forgive someone or not. My husband, my kids, my parents, my teammates, my neighbors, my friends, my colleagues, my family members, and on and on and on. People need forgiveness constantly. Constantly. Someone is always falling short, failing, flubbing up. There is constantly someone who needs my forgiveness. Big things, little things, important things (like my reputation or my feelings or my needs), unimportant things, many things. Life simply doesn't happen the exact way I want it to and people get in the way and mess it up. It's inevitable. The more I try to control my day and my expectations and my life, the more I'm going to be disappointed and people are going to mess it up.
If only I choose to let go of my anger, or my disappointment in people, or my need to have life turn out perfectly (or even just as I had planned it out), and instead allow whatever may come to be seen as from the sweet, kind, protective, yet permissive, hand of God, then I don't have to be in charge of every thing that goes on in my life. There CAN be incidences that sidetrack us. There CAN be mess ups and mistakes. There CAN be meanness and hardship and brokenness and rudeness. (There WILL be anyway, regardless of whether I want it to or not.) The only difference is in my attitude about it. If I CHOOSE to know that my Father in heaven is in charge of all things, and that even those things that seemingly hurt or nearly destroy me He's permitted to happen in his infinite wisdom and kindness, then I can stop being so angry with my fellow man. I can rest in the fact that my God's got it all sorted out. If He wants to discipline someone or wants to teach them a lesson, then I don't have to. I don't need to worry with it further. In fact I don't even need to seek the evil of someone who's harmed me or committed ill-will toward me. Why? Because I'm messing with the lives of those who live around me too. I'm disappointing or hurting or getting in the way of the plans and my husband, my kids, my parents, and on and on and on. I too want them to forgive me and not hold my mistakes and sins over my head either.
If I will only choose to let God be in charge of the small and large things of my life (which He's actually in charge of anyway), then I don't need to be emotionally invested in every single wrong done to me. I can really let go of that stress, anger, and all the other emotional baggage that may come with it.
In practicality, when someone at home fails to do his chore, I can give a sweet reminder instead of a heated one. When someone leaves me or my child out of a neat opportunity, I can know that it wasn't meant to be for some reason; something else better must have been in store for us and I don't need to harbor resentment and disappointment. When someone fails to do something kind for me that I really needed or counted on, then I can release them from the burden. When someone says something mean about me or my child, I can lament that they haven't had the time to learn our hearts and our true self, and I can pray that we'll get to know them better and they us. They are not in charge of me or my life--and neither am I. My Daddy is. Praise God that He's forgiven me my umpteenth sin, through Christ's blood, and He's more than able to take care of it all.
May you (and I!!) choose to let God be in charge of teaching lessons and writing wrongs. May He reveal where we are to shoulder a burden and where we are to let it go. May we be convinced of His goodness and of His grace and of His ability to give us so much grace that we've got tons to give to others.
(BTW: If you're looking for a way to shake things up and change the world, then THAT'S how........)
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim
Hmm. I know I've walked this path before in having to decide whether to forgive someone or not. My husband, my kids, my parents, my teammates, my neighbors, my friends, my colleagues, my family members, and on and on and on. People need forgiveness constantly. Constantly. Someone is always falling short, failing, flubbing up. There is constantly someone who needs my forgiveness. Big things, little things, important things (like my reputation or my feelings or my needs), unimportant things, many things. Life simply doesn't happen the exact way I want it to and people get in the way and mess it up. It's inevitable. The more I try to control my day and my expectations and my life, the more I'm going to be disappointed and people are going to mess it up.
If only I choose to let go of my anger, or my disappointment in people, or my need to have life turn out perfectly (or even just as I had planned it out), and instead allow whatever may come to be seen as from the sweet, kind, protective, yet permissive, hand of God, then I don't have to be in charge of every thing that goes on in my life. There CAN be incidences that sidetrack us. There CAN be mess ups and mistakes. There CAN be meanness and hardship and brokenness and rudeness. (There WILL be anyway, regardless of whether I want it to or not.) The only difference is in my attitude about it. If I CHOOSE to know that my Father in heaven is in charge of all things, and that even those things that seemingly hurt or nearly destroy me He's permitted to happen in his infinite wisdom and kindness, then I can stop being so angry with my fellow man. I can rest in the fact that my God's got it all sorted out. If He wants to discipline someone or wants to teach them a lesson, then I don't have to. I don't need to worry with it further. In fact I don't even need to seek the evil of someone who's harmed me or committed ill-will toward me. Why? Because I'm messing with the lives of those who live around me too. I'm disappointing or hurting or getting in the way of the plans and my husband, my kids, my parents, and on and on and on. I too want them to forgive me and not hold my mistakes and sins over my head either.
If I will only choose to let God be in charge of the small and large things of my life (which He's actually in charge of anyway), then I don't need to be emotionally invested in every single wrong done to me. I can really let go of that stress, anger, and all the other emotional baggage that may come with it.
In practicality, when someone at home fails to do his chore, I can give a sweet reminder instead of a heated one. When someone leaves me or my child out of a neat opportunity, I can know that it wasn't meant to be for some reason; something else better must have been in store for us and I don't need to harbor resentment and disappointment. When someone fails to do something kind for me that I really needed or counted on, then I can release them from the burden. When someone says something mean about me or my child, I can lament that they haven't had the time to learn our hearts and our true self, and I can pray that we'll get to know them better and they us. They are not in charge of me or my life--and neither am I. My Daddy is. Praise God that He's forgiven me my umpteenth sin, through Christ's blood, and He's more than able to take care of it all.
May you (and I!!) choose to let God be in charge of teaching lessons and writing wrongs. May He reveal where we are to shoulder a burden and where we are to let it go. May we be convinced of His goodness and of His grace and of His ability to give us so much grace that we've got tons to give to others.
(BTW: If you're looking for a way to shake things up and change the world, then THAT'S how........)
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim
Saturday, April 11, 2015
Cuenca
On Good Friday, after school, I took the bus to Puyo to buy six overnight bus tickets which would take us eight hours away to the city of Cuenca. Cuenca is more in the south central part of Ecuador and sits at 8,000 feet above sea level. It's resides in a valley among mountain tops and really boasts of one of the prettiest skylines in all of this country. Cuenca is clean, big but not too big (like Quito), proud of its heritage, and filled with history. It's now replaced Banos for me as my most favorite city. I'm so glad we went. Yet, as is with everything else that I've put in this blog thus far, there is a story to tell.
When I went to the bus terminal on Friday and asked for tickets for the bus that would depart two days later, the young gentleman there told me that I needn't buy them so early. I could come back on Sunday morning to purchase them. To me, coming two days early to assure that we would get six seats had been a wise thing. And, who wants to travel half an hour away to buy bus tickets on Easter morning? I'd rather spend the time with my family and enjoy a less rushed time prior to going to church. So, reluctantly, the man sold me two adult and four children's tickets and asked for my phone number so he could call if there arose any trouble. I kind of scratched my head and thought, "I bought tickets. Why would there be any trouble with that?"
Well, sure enough, on Easter afternoon, a mere eight hours before our bus was to depart at 10pm, the man called us to report that we could have our first four seats but the other two had been sold to someone else. What??? I was confused. I reminded him that we bought our tickets (seats 1-6) on the bus before anyone else had. They had already collected our money and I had the tickets in hand. After this conversation, he sent in his supervisor who then called to reiterate that we could have four tickets but the other two were sold to someone else. She did promise however that they would refund our two tickets that they'd sold to someone else. Seriously.
So, that evening we arrived at the Puyo terminal at 9:40, were refunded our money, and proceeded to take our four front row seats on the bus. We spent the first two hours shuffling around in many combinations to see what was most comfortable. Selah fell asleep on the backpacks which were resting on the floor so that gave Doug a bit of extra room for a portion of the drive. For another portion, Doug chose to stand so that his space could be used for the boys. At 12:20 am we arrived in Macas and many people disembarked. Hope for two more seats sprang up in Doug's heart. Several other passengers entered and before we knew it, we were being questioned as to whether we had paid for our seats. Had we paid for our seats? Well, as a matter of fact, we paid for six seats and all we got was four. So, we would not be moving out of these four seats we'd purchased, thank you very much.
So, off we went and for the next five and a half hours, Doug, Darius and Seth sat in seats 1 and 2, while Jacobey, Selah and I sat in seats 3 and 4. It probably would have not been so bad had it have been a fairly straight road on which we traveled. However, because it was so windy and the bus was careening to the left and to the right with such great frequency, the lurching we did from side to side required that Doug and I tightly hold onto the child that was asleep in our lap. When we finally arrived in Cuenca at 6 am, each of our four kids had had a few hours of sleep; Doug and I had had none and we felt like we'd been hit by a truck. Not the best way to start a vacation.
Our friend Gary came to collect us from the bus station at 6:50 am and took us to their high-rise apartment building where we found his wife Dena sweetly cooking us a big breakfast complete with a mound of bacon, a bowl of hot, cheesy grits, and two types of fresh fruit. Heaven! We scarfed the whole thing and then I excused myself and laid down for the next hour. Our entire Monday was a bit slow because of how we felt but we still managed to see a few sites, do a short hike in the mountains up at 13,000 feet, and have dinner at our friends' favorite Italian restaurant. It was fabulous to hit the bed that night!
The next three days were filled with touring the city, taking in the more important sites, shopping at stores that had more variety than what we were used to, and eating at restaurants that thrilled our children's taste buds (Subway, KFC, McDonalds). On our last day in Cuenca we went to a place known for their pancakes and Mexican breakfast tacos. Oh my! You've never seen food leave the plate so quickly. Our friends then took us to the zoo which I can honestly say is now my favorite zoo in all the world. It should be a place that all zoo designers must visit before creating their own zoo. The monkeys traveled all over the zoo in these fairly basic wire tubes which were suspended about ten feet above ground. There were two male and two female full grown lions in the exhibit. There was a tank full of frogs in various stages of the tadpole-to-frog process. And, one section of the zoo was purposefully burnt and smoldering so as to demonstrate that forest fires kill animals; another section had chopped down trees to make a statement about deforestation. Fabulous zoo!
That night we went to the free symphony held in the old cathedral and heard an hour and a half of terrific traditional Ecuadorian music played with violins, trumpets, and the full complement of instruments. It was music to my ears--literally.
Sadly, when we returned home we noticed that we'd received a number of text messages from our driver who was to pick us up the following morning at 7 am. He had sent messages letting us know that he would only be able to take us half way. We'd have to take a bus the rest of the way to make it back to Shell. Confused by this we texted back reminding him of the commitment that he'd made to us weeks ago. Nope. Can't do it, he said. Something else had come up and he couldn't do both. He'd only be able to do part of his bargain with us. When we asked why he thought it was okay to break this commitment with us, he got angry and told us to forget the whole thing.
So....at eleven pm (once again, eight hours before our departure time) we found ourselves without a ride eight hours in the future. We brainstormed. We called everyone we knew and our friends knew. We finally happened upon one man that wanted to charge us $65 more than the person we had originally hired for the job..........
We'll take it. Beggars cannot be choosers. So, at 7:30 in the morning we went downstairs and piled into a small seven passenger car and threw our suitcase on the roof and our backpacks between our legs. We were grateful then that we had not bought much in Cuenca in the way of groceries or soveniers and that two of our kids were still small. Off we went and headed down the road. An hour and a half into our journey we stopped off at the Incan ruins of Ingapirca. We stretched our legs, toured the site, downed a bag of Doritos, and then set off further on our journey. Thankfully the Dramamine worked the whole way so no one vomited on this trip. Praise the Lord! And, our driver drove slow enough and clear headed enough to make us feel comfortable.
So in the end when we arrived back to our house at 6:30 pm, we could say that we'd had a bit of a break from not only school, but from bug bites, rain, snakes, roaches, loud music, a limited menu, and constant begging for the use of our computer.
Warts and all, this trip was wonderful.
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim
When I went to the bus terminal on Friday and asked for tickets for the bus that would depart two days later, the young gentleman there told me that I needn't buy them so early. I could come back on Sunday morning to purchase them. To me, coming two days early to assure that we would get six seats had been a wise thing. And, who wants to travel half an hour away to buy bus tickets on Easter morning? I'd rather spend the time with my family and enjoy a less rushed time prior to going to church. So, reluctantly, the man sold me two adult and four children's tickets and asked for my phone number so he could call if there arose any trouble. I kind of scratched my head and thought, "I bought tickets. Why would there be any trouble with that?"
Well, sure enough, on Easter afternoon, a mere eight hours before our bus was to depart at 10pm, the man called us to report that we could have our first four seats but the other two had been sold to someone else. What??? I was confused. I reminded him that we bought our tickets (seats 1-6) on the bus before anyone else had. They had already collected our money and I had the tickets in hand. After this conversation, he sent in his supervisor who then called to reiterate that we could have four tickets but the other two were sold to someone else. She did promise however that they would refund our two tickets that they'd sold to someone else. Seriously.
So, that evening we arrived at the Puyo terminal at 9:40, were refunded our money, and proceeded to take our four front row seats on the bus. We spent the first two hours shuffling around in many combinations to see what was most comfortable. Selah fell asleep on the backpacks which were resting on the floor so that gave Doug a bit of extra room for a portion of the drive. For another portion, Doug chose to stand so that his space could be used for the boys. At 12:20 am we arrived in Macas and many people disembarked. Hope for two more seats sprang up in Doug's heart. Several other passengers entered and before we knew it, we were being questioned as to whether we had paid for our seats. Had we paid for our seats? Well, as a matter of fact, we paid for six seats and all we got was four. So, we would not be moving out of these four seats we'd purchased, thank you very much.
So, off we went and for the next five and a half hours, Doug, Darius and Seth sat in seats 1 and 2, while Jacobey, Selah and I sat in seats 3 and 4. It probably would have not been so bad had it have been a fairly straight road on which we traveled. However, because it was so windy and the bus was careening to the left and to the right with such great frequency, the lurching we did from side to side required that Doug and I tightly hold onto the child that was asleep in our lap. When we finally arrived in Cuenca at 6 am, each of our four kids had had a few hours of sleep; Doug and I had had none and we felt like we'd been hit by a truck. Not the best way to start a vacation.
Our friend Gary came to collect us from the bus station at 6:50 am and took us to their high-rise apartment building where we found his wife Dena sweetly cooking us a big breakfast complete with a mound of bacon, a bowl of hot, cheesy grits, and two types of fresh fruit. Heaven! We scarfed the whole thing and then I excused myself and laid down for the next hour. Our entire Monday was a bit slow because of how we felt but we still managed to see a few sites, do a short hike in the mountains up at 13,000 feet, and have dinner at our friends' favorite Italian restaurant. It was fabulous to hit the bed that night!
The next three days were filled with touring the city, taking in the more important sites, shopping at stores that had more variety than what we were used to, and eating at restaurants that thrilled our children's taste buds (Subway, KFC, McDonalds). On our last day in Cuenca we went to a place known for their pancakes and Mexican breakfast tacos. Oh my! You've never seen food leave the plate so quickly. Our friends then took us to the zoo which I can honestly say is now my favorite zoo in all the world. It should be a place that all zoo designers must visit before creating their own zoo. The monkeys traveled all over the zoo in these fairly basic wire tubes which were suspended about ten feet above ground. There were two male and two female full grown lions in the exhibit. There was a tank full of frogs in various stages of the tadpole-to-frog process. And, one section of the zoo was purposefully burnt and smoldering so as to demonstrate that forest fires kill animals; another section had chopped down trees to make a statement about deforestation. Fabulous zoo!
That night we went to the free symphony held in the old cathedral and heard an hour and a half of terrific traditional Ecuadorian music played with violins, trumpets, and the full complement of instruments. It was music to my ears--literally.
Sadly, when we returned home we noticed that we'd received a number of text messages from our driver who was to pick us up the following morning at 7 am. He had sent messages letting us know that he would only be able to take us half way. We'd have to take a bus the rest of the way to make it back to Shell. Confused by this we texted back reminding him of the commitment that he'd made to us weeks ago. Nope. Can't do it, he said. Something else had come up and he couldn't do both. He'd only be able to do part of his bargain with us. When we asked why he thought it was okay to break this commitment with us, he got angry and told us to forget the whole thing.
So....at eleven pm (once again, eight hours before our departure time) we found ourselves without a ride eight hours in the future. We brainstormed. We called everyone we knew and our friends knew. We finally happened upon one man that wanted to charge us $65 more than the person we had originally hired for the job..........
We'll take it. Beggars cannot be choosers. So, at 7:30 in the morning we went downstairs and piled into a small seven passenger car and threw our suitcase on the roof and our backpacks between our legs. We were grateful then that we had not bought much in Cuenca in the way of groceries or soveniers and that two of our kids were still small. Off we went and headed down the road. An hour and a half into our journey we stopped off at the Incan ruins of Ingapirca. We stretched our legs, toured the site, downed a bag of Doritos, and then set off further on our journey. Thankfully the Dramamine worked the whole way so no one vomited on this trip. Praise the Lord! And, our driver drove slow enough and clear headed enough to make us feel comfortable.
So in the end when we arrived back to our house at 6:30 pm, we could say that we'd had a bit of a break from not only school, but from bug bites, rain, snakes, roaches, loud music, a limited menu, and constant begging for the use of our computer.
Warts and all, this trip was wonderful.
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim
Monday, March 30, 2015
Easter
At the end of this week we will be celebrating Easter, my personal favorite of all the holidays because of its significance. What makes it really nice too is that there is far less fanfare and materialism demonstrated during this season. You don't have to spend a month or more preparing your house or your shopping list or your wallet for this particular day. Yet, to celebrate it well, you do have to prepare your heart.
Over the weekend, while Doug has been away at a men's retreat, the Lord has been doing just that with me. I would be doing some of the most mundane things such as folding clothes, washing dishes, sweeping, or whatnot, and I would hear a still small voice in my head make a comment about the thought that I'd just been thinking. "Kim, that was a very judgmental thing to think," the voice would say. Or, "Kim, did you hear how impatient you seemed in that thought?" Or even, "Kim, did you just hear how you sounded? That was not a very loving thing to consider." Mind you, these weren't even words I'd spoken. They were merely thoughts which had not even left my lips. The Lord was there and was picking through them one-by-one.
When He says that we're to live above reproach, we're to love as He loves, we're to be holy because He is holy, He really means it. Just because we don't express our evil thoughts or we don't act on our sinful impulses doesn't mean that we're free from fault or sin. Christ told us that even if he harbor hate or malice or lust in our hearts, we're still guilty.
I'm beginning to see that the Lord is ruthless when it comes to getting me to live like Him. He wants me to really and truly love those around me, regardless of whether they deserve it or whether they appreciate it. I am to love because that's what He did and does. Being a Christian is not going to church (though it may and should include that), and it is not wearing a cross around your neck (though I personally do), and it is not having a quiet time daily reading the Bible (though it does play a huge role in how your walk looks and how you become transformed).
Being a Christian is knowing the Lord Jesus and clinging to Him. It is loving Him with one's whole heart, mind, soul, and strength. It is confessing Him as not just Savior but as Lord. Being a Christian is not knowing the right answers but it is knowing the right God. It is putting Him and His desires first in one's life. Does He get that from you?
May you discover who He is in this season. He's so worth knowing.....
Blessings, kim
Over the weekend, while Doug has been away at a men's retreat, the Lord has been doing just that with me. I would be doing some of the most mundane things such as folding clothes, washing dishes, sweeping, or whatnot, and I would hear a still small voice in my head make a comment about the thought that I'd just been thinking. "Kim, that was a very judgmental thing to think," the voice would say. Or, "Kim, did you hear how impatient you seemed in that thought?" Or even, "Kim, did you just hear how you sounded? That was not a very loving thing to consider." Mind you, these weren't even words I'd spoken. They were merely thoughts which had not even left my lips. The Lord was there and was picking through them one-by-one.
When He says that we're to live above reproach, we're to love as He loves, we're to be holy because He is holy, He really means it. Just because we don't express our evil thoughts or we don't act on our sinful impulses doesn't mean that we're free from fault or sin. Christ told us that even if he harbor hate or malice or lust in our hearts, we're still guilty.
I'm beginning to see that the Lord is ruthless when it comes to getting me to live like Him. He wants me to really and truly love those around me, regardless of whether they deserve it or whether they appreciate it. I am to love because that's what He did and does. Being a Christian is not going to church (though it may and should include that), and it is not wearing a cross around your neck (though I personally do), and it is not having a quiet time daily reading the Bible (though it does play a huge role in how your walk looks and how you become transformed).
Being a Christian is knowing the Lord Jesus and clinging to Him. It is loving Him with one's whole heart, mind, soul, and strength. It is confessing Him as not just Savior but as Lord. Being a Christian is not knowing the right answers but it is knowing the right God. It is putting Him and His desires first in one's life. Does He get that from you?
May you discover who He is in this season. He's so worth knowing.....
Blessings, kim
Sunday, March 22, 2015
The Promised Land
A few weeks ago when I was in church something from the sermon jumped out at me and I began to write fast and furiously in my journal about it. I honestly can't remember if I ended up blogging it but I do know that I sat with the idea for a good long while and it has colored how I've thought of things since. Today the sermon took me back to that same realization and I now have to write about it.
It stuck me that the story of the Exodus from Egypt is an Old Testament rendition of the Christian life. Let me explain.
In the book of Exodus, Moses was told by God to go into Pharaoh's palace to claim the freedom of the more than one million Israelite slaves. He was to not negotiate with Pharaoh. He was simply told to insist that they be given their freedom. Upon their departure, after much strife and struggle with the Egyptian ruler, they were to go wandering into the desert so that they might receive their marching orders (The Ten Commandments) just prior to entering into the Promised Land--the place the Lord had set aside for them and their progeny. God had it all mapped out and had determined that He would provide for them and bless them richly in their new land.
The only problem was that the Israelites refused to enter the Land. Upon hearing the report from spies they sent in to inspect the new territory, they chose to remain in the desert where they thought life was safer. Wrong move. God therefore allowed them to wallow in their poor choice for the next forty years till an entire generation (or two) died off and the next generation were willing to enter in to take what He'd given them years before.
When the next generation were finally ready to enter into the Promised Land, they sought the Lord and heard from Him first as to how to go about claiming the land. He told them step by step what to do and as long as they followed His directions, they were successful and overwhelmed with His provision and blessing. It was not until they deviated from His plans for them that they suffered and eventually lost their opportunity to live on the land.
Well, this is where the story ends from years ago but picks up in our own personal lives. Track with me if you can. The Lord has told us the story of Moses and the Israelites which is also to serve as a foreshadowing of what is to take place in our own lives. You see, we all at one time lived in slavery (many in this world still do). We lived according to the desires of our flesh, our selfish desires, our sinful natures. We did whatever we wanted with no regard for whether it was right or wrong, and we sought to only satisfy our own needs. We had no regard for God or His ways. Then there came along One who was willing to argue for our freedom (Christ actually died for our freedom), and we were therefore set free. We were able to run from the place of our bondage. We had to then move out of the slavery mindset and move into a life of freedom.
(As a sidebar comment: For many people, becoming a Christian appears to them as a place of bondage instead. They think that's when life becomes less fun and more restrained. I have to differ because I see that my life is waaaaaay more free now that I'm not a slave to sin. I still sin, frequently in fact, but I have freedom in Christ and can live my life according to His ways and His calling. I'm not run by the sinful nature but by the life that I have in Christ.)
So, back in the desert we find that we've escaped the slavery of Egypt and we're now headed toward the Promised Land that the Lord has set aside for us. The only thing is that we have to actually enter the Promised Land. We, like the Israelites, cannot just hang out on the other side of the river until we feel like obeying the Lord. When He called us out of slavery He didn't intend for us to then just wander around. He intended for us to move into the place of our rest--the Promised Land--so that we could put down roots, could plant seeds, could claim the territory we've been given.
The question is, have we--those who've accepted Christ--not only left the bondage of slavery and darkness, but have we also entered into the Promised Land? The Lord is showing me that there are huge numbers of Christians in our midst that are still wandering around in the desert. They live lives full of fear, uncertainty, frustration, and other destructive things. The Lord is not present in their lives and giving them victory in their circumstances yet because they have not crossed the Jordan River (the point of no return) to enter the Land the Lord has given them. They remain in the desert because they're not willing to "trust in the Lord with all your heart..." They live tentative lives unsure of their faith. They do not live a life completely surrendered to Him and His calling upon them. Therefore they're dry, fearful, and missing out on what the Lord has in store for them.
So, if this applies to you, I urge you to cross the Jordan. Go to Him and tell Him that you've decided to follow Him wherever He leads you. Yes, it may be scary, it may lead you to foreign lands (!), it may lead you to harder things, it may lead you to some tough decisions. But, please know that the place it will for sure lead you to is The Promised Land. And that land, which we can attest to, is a land full of His presence, His closeness, His grace, and His goodness. It doesn't mean that it's easy (the Israelites still had work to do in the Promised Land) but it does mean that it will be where He's promised victory and Himself. Hands down, that's where I wanna be. How 'bout you?
Thanks for reading...
Blessings, kim
It stuck me that the story of the Exodus from Egypt is an Old Testament rendition of the Christian life. Let me explain.
In the book of Exodus, Moses was told by God to go into Pharaoh's palace to claim the freedom of the more than one million Israelite slaves. He was to not negotiate with Pharaoh. He was simply told to insist that they be given their freedom. Upon their departure, after much strife and struggle with the Egyptian ruler, they were to go wandering into the desert so that they might receive their marching orders (The Ten Commandments) just prior to entering into the Promised Land--the place the Lord had set aside for them and their progeny. God had it all mapped out and had determined that He would provide for them and bless them richly in their new land.
The only problem was that the Israelites refused to enter the Land. Upon hearing the report from spies they sent in to inspect the new territory, they chose to remain in the desert where they thought life was safer. Wrong move. God therefore allowed them to wallow in their poor choice for the next forty years till an entire generation (or two) died off and the next generation were willing to enter in to take what He'd given them years before.
When the next generation were finally ready to enter into the Promised Land, they sought the Lord and heard from Him first as to how to go about claiming the land. He told them step by step what to do and as long as they followed His directions, they were successful and overwhelmed with His provision and blessing. It was not until they deviated from His plans for them that they suffered and eventually lost their opportunity to live on the land.
Well, this is where the story ends from years ago but picks up in our own personal lives. Track with me if you can. The Lord has told us the story of Moses and the Israelites which is also to serve as a foreshadowing of what is to take place in our own lives. You see, we all at one time lived in slavery (many in this world still do). We lived according to the desires of our flesh, our selfish desires, our sinful natures. We did whatever we wanted with no regard for whether it was right or wrong, and we sought to only satisfy our own needs. We had no regard for God or His ways. Then there came along One who was willing to argue for our freedom (Christ actually died for our freedom), and we were therefore set free. We were able to run from the place of our bondage. We had to then move out of the slavery mindset and move into a life of freedom.
(As a sidebar comment: For many people, becoming a Christian appears to them as a place of bondage instead. They think that's when life becomes less fun and more restrained. I have to differ because I see that my life is waaaaaay more free now that I'm not a slave to sin. I still sin, frequently in fact, but I have freedom in Christ and can live my life according to His ways and His calling. I'm not run by the sinful nature but by the life that I have in Christ.)
So, back in the desert we find that we've escaped the slavery of Egypt and we're now headed toward the Promised Land that the Lord has set aside for us. The only thing is that we have to actually enter the Promised Land. We, like the Israelites, cannot just hang out on the other side of the river until we feel like obeying the Lord. When He called us out of slavery He didn't intend for us to then just wander around. He intended for us to move into the place of our rest--the Promised Land--so that we could put down roots, could plant seeds, could claim the territory we've been given.
The question is, have we--those who've accepted Christ--not only left the bondage of slavery and darkness, but have we also entered into the Promised Land? The Lord is showing me that there are huge numbers of Christians in our midst that are still wandering around in the desert. They live lives full of fear, uncertainty, frustration, and other destructive things. The Lord is not present in their lives and giving them victory in their circumstances yet because they have not crossed the Jordan River (the point of no return) to enter the Land the Lord has given them. They remain in the desert because they're not willing to "trust in the Lord with all your heart..." They live tentative lives unsure of their faith. They do not live a life completely surrendered to Him and His calling upon them. Therefore they're dry, fearful, and missing out on what the Lord has in store for them.
So, if this applies to you, I urge you to cross the Jordan. Go to Him and tell Him that you've decided to follow Him wherever He leads you. Yes, it may be scary, it may lead you to foreign lands (!), it may lead you to harder things, it may lead you to some tough decisions. But, please know that the place it will for sure lead you to is The Promised Land. And that land, which we can attest to, is a land full of His presence, His closeness, His grace, and His goodness. It doesn't mean that it's easy (the Israelites still had work to do in the Promised Land) but it does mean that it will be where He's promised victory and Himself. Hands down, that's where I wanna be. How 'bout you?
Thanks for reading...
Blessings, kim
Monday, March 16, 2015
Kunamp
On Saturday Jacobey and I piled into the car with eight other people from church and we made an hour and a half trek into the jungle to the town of Kunamp. This trip took us through the city of Puyo, down the main road southward toward Macas, off of a relatively new paved road leading further into the foliage, across the huge Pastaza River, and down a thin, bumpy road taking us to a remote little village of about 150 people living far from any semblance of civilization.
This is the Pastaza River about a 10 mile walk from their village:
This is one of the nicer homes in Kunamp. All of the homes are made of wooden boards nailed together placed on a wooden floor about two feet off of the ground. There is no glass in any of the spaces that we would call windows. There is no running water in any of the homes. There are no bathrooms and no kitchens. Needless to say, no one in the community owns a car, a cell phone, a television, a computer, or any number of modern conveniences.
The community was full of moms, dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and many kids who all knew one another intimately. Kunamp is apparently the family name of the person who originally set up camp here. In essence, this village is the Kunamp family living life in a humble setting amidst their relatives.
The purpose of our coming to Kunamp was to deliver the Christmas Boxes that Samaritan's Purse collects every fall. Our church here in Ecuador pays the $1/box Custom's fee and then transports nearly 40 boxes to the children of this community. Even though every child in the village is not 5-9 years of age, as their particular box states, every one of them is more than thrilled to get all the items included therein. Jacobey helped to pass the boxes out to these shoeless, patient, poor children of the jungle. Doubtless, these were the only things the kids received for 'Christmas'.
This precious little girl received a stuffed dog which I'm certain will be her treasure for years to come.
After the children pulled out their toys, toothpaste with toothbrushes, crayons, clay, pens, notepads, and other assorted items, they ran off to show their family members and enjoy their gifts. Meanwhile the community leaders prepared to place lunch before us. They moved five school-type desks end to end in the middle of the house where we pulled up our wooden chairs. Then they sat a steamed banana leaf before each of us which contained a chicken and hearts of palm mixture with a few large pieces of yucca. Mine had a whole peeled banana as well.
Then they passed around a bowl of salt for sprinkling and a bowl of sliced chives in water to give it a little extra flavor. Honestly, this was one of the best meals I have had since coming to Ecuador. It truly was delicious!
Once we ate to our heart's content, we prayed over the family members who hosted us in their home (which doubles as the community church), and we began to move toward the car.
I snapped a quick picture of Jose who so sweetly lingered around us greatly proud of the gifts he'd just received. . .
. . . Caught a shot of Cobey carrying a bunch of bananas one of our hostesses had given him. . .
. . . And a few last pictures of the gracious people of Kunamp (which for some reason I cannot download now....)
It struck me that during our four and a half hours there, we spent time with people who rarely if ever had seen an American, who didn't have all the things that our culture would insist are necessary for happiness, and who had extremely little in the way of true necessities. They pulled their drinking water from a nearby stream which is also where they bathe, wash clothes, and play on a hot day. These natives to South America really have no need for all the trappings that we do. They have an old worn out soccer ball, plenty of mud and rocks and sticks, a huge family full of people that love them, and the knowledge and love of Jesus Christ. (They even sang to us "I have decided to follow Jesus" in their own Shuar language.)
Meanwhile my own kids, who have spent nearly two years without television, the vast majority of their things, and most of the modern conveniences they're used to, long for the use of a computer, an Ipad, or an Ipod when they are away from them. Oddly, it's my kids who 'feel poor' while the Kunamp kids do not. My kids notice when they are giving things up and when they go without. (So do I.)
Makes me consider what true poverty is. The Kunamp kids may appear poor to us, but to them I wonder if they believe the same.
Could true poverty be a lack of contentment and gratitude for the things you already possess?
If we were to use that definition, then my guess is that the vast majority of Americans would be 'poor'. We may have a multitude of things, stuff, objects, but are we content in saying that it's enough? Interesting.
If you don't need it, and aren't using it, then give it away. Let someone else have it. You may find that true wealth is experienced when you have less stuff and more of what the people of Kunamp have: family, love, space, and Christ (the only things that you can take with you when you go......)
Thanks for reading. Blessings, kim
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Banos
Yesterday a really sweet family whose church we attend offered to accompany us to Banos (Bahn-yohs), the larger town that's an hour further into the Andes Mountains away from our house. It's probably Doug's favorite destination since it's about 10 degrees cooler, it's less rainy, it's got a bigger grocery store than Shell (about the size of a typical Dollar Store), and we know of a place where we can buy chocolate empanadas for a buck a piece. As we mentioned last year, it also sells grilled guinea pig (a delicacy here) which we proudly report that we've never indulged in. It just has a few more options of things to do than here. In fact, if you were to travel to Ecuador, it would more than likely be a spot on your itinerary as it is for most tourists that drop into this South American nation.
Our friends collected us at 11:00 a.m. and we drove the hour to Banos where we had lunch at a Mexican restaurant that served the best guacamole and homemade chips. Then we hopped in the car and visited the a place that, in English, would be translated as something like a 'serpetarium'. We viewed a slew of Amazonian snakes which caused a bit of alarm for Selah for she could see that they were venomous and aggressive. Then we toured the collection of birds which I thought was fantastic as they had cardinals, flamingos, peacocks, and this really interesting rooster. He reminded me of comedian Phyllis Diller of my childhood days.
Then we headed to the lion exhibit, a new acquisition from another zoo, which included a lion, lioness, and two cubs. To our surprise we had come on the day when the cubs would be officially named at a ceremony at which Miss Banos would put in her appearance and the zoo would serve sparkling wine, chocolate candies, baked rolls, and many other finger foods.
Though those things were all a treat, the biggest thrill we had was getting to pet the lion cubs and have the kids' picture taken with one of them. While this all took place the anxious mother and father looked on and growled and roared with impatience.
Afterward we witnessed a wonderful family reunion with contented parents including a father who wished the spectators to simply go away. The roar of a lion really is something to behold. There is so much power within the throat of such an amazing animal.
Just before leaving the 'Serpetarium' we took a picture of the animal that most caught Doug's attention: the llama. When Doug went to chat with him, he would have none of it and tried to bite him. We loved the attempt though.
At the end of our time there in Banos, we shopped for groceries and picked up our favorite cereal, more Gouda and cheddar cheese, bags of chips, chocolate chips, garbanzo beans, pecans, jalapenos, almond slices, mint extract, and a number of other things we cannot readily find in Shell. On the way out of town we even stopped for chocolate empanadas before heading back to the rain and bugs of the jungle. It was a great day!
Blessings, kim
Friday, March 6, 2015
Choosing
It's been almost a month to the day since I last wrote. I'm so sorry for those of you who have been faithful in reading this blog. It was not my intention to take such a long hiatus. At home now we often do not have internet, and when we do, I compete with the five others in our family who would like to be on-line or at least able to see a video or do some word processing.
As of late we've had more and more rain. Today we finally got smart and brought a change of pants with us to school in our backpacks so that we wouldn't have to spend the day cold and wet. It's funny how being cold and wet has added a sourness to my disposition. This one thing has brought my missing a car to a new level. Yet, when I look around at the locals, they walk in the rain without care or concern for being wet. It still amazes me at how spoiled I am and how I seek creature comforts.
The other day Doug and I were talking about how we don't recall being terribly materialistic when we lived in the States. We had a nice house but weren't overly concerned with having it decked out in the nicest things. We never shopped for the nicest of clothes, bought the best car, ate at the nicest restaurants, or had to have the most updated phone. In each of these areas we simply went for either what was the cheapest or the most handy.
Somehow we feel that this experience has taken two fairly contented people and turned us into ones who are now very much aware of what we do not have. We notice greatly now that we wear shoes with wholes or with sparse soles on the bottom, we have no car to speak of, we eat at the cheapest places in town here, and between us we have one phone which we are sure no one we know back home has seen the likes of in years. Additionally, we eat the same things over and over because we simply don't have the ingredients that we need.
Now all of this would be fine and dandy and considered part of the typical experience, but for some reason it's not. We have struggled with this here and we continue to look around and notice what we don't have rather than what we do. In fact, we notice every time another missionary family's car drives by. We notice when anyone here has nice new clothes. We see the beautiful things that others have that we do not. Why is this so? Why are we more aware of what we now don't have rather than before we came?
I think the secret answer lies in the fact that we simply have no way of attaining these things (as opposed to the fact that in the past we simply CHOSE NOT to have these things). We are completely unable to have a car here. It's not an option for us. We have been told that we are not to drive here, so even if we did have a car, there would be no way for us to use it. Similarly, we cannot get our hands on nicer clothes or shoes. There really are none to be had. The shoes our kids need (which can withstand the rain, the hours of daily play, and the rough terrain that they walk on daily) are not made here. And the other things that we'd love to have are simply too far away--either two hours by bus or are back in the land we call home. In essence, the things we'd love to own are out of reach for us. For other missionaries here, not so much. But for us, they are out of the question.
Therefore, I have to say that this experience has really taught us what it's like to be poor. Now I'm not saying that we really are poor. Mind you, we still own a nice home and two cars in the states. We still have many possessions there. We are still funded here by the generous giving of our donors. But. We know what it's like to have the 'inability' to own nice things. We know that we cannot enjoy the things that others do. We have tasted the good life and we now know what it's like to have a longing for that.
Recently Doug and I therefore have noticed that we are sad for the loss of some of these things. (We do know that it's a temporary loss.) We are sad that it makes us turn inward and grumble and become less than contented. We've decided that these next three months need to be focused on what we do have--which is a far cry from what other missionaries have in the one direction--AND--which is a far cry from what the locals have in the other. We must spend our time being grateful and mindful that we have been blessed beyond measure to have had this experience and the wonderful opportunity to learn lesson upon lesson upon lesson.
Thanks so much for reading. I promise not to take so long between entries.
Blessings, kim
As of late we've had more and more rain. Today we finally got smart and brought a change of pants with us to school in our backpacks so that we wouldn't have to spend the day cold and wet. It's funny how being cold and wet has added a sourness to my disposition. This one thing has brought my missing a car to a new level. Yet, when I look around at the locals, they walk in the rain without care or concern for being wet. It still amazes me at how spoiled I am and how I seek creature comforts.
The other day Doug and I were talking about how we don't recall being terribly materialistic when we lived in the States. We had a nice house but weren't overly concerned with having it decked out in the nicest things. We never shopped for the nicest of clothes, bought the best car, ate at the nicest restaurants, or had to have the most updated phone. In each of these areas we simply went for either what was the cheapest or the most handy.
Somehow we feel that this experience has taken two fairly contented people and turned us into ones who are now very much aware of what we do not have. We notice greatly now that we wear shoes with wholes or with sparse soles on the bottom, we have no car to speak of, we eat at the cheapest places in town here, and between us we have one phone which we are sure no one we know back home has seen the likes of in years. Additionally, we eat the same things over and over because we simply don't have the ingredients that we need.
Now all of this would be fine and dandy and considered part of the typical experience, but for some reason it's not. We have struggled with this here and we continue to look around and notice what we don't have rather than what we do. In fact, we notice every time another missionary family's car drives by. We notice when anyone here has nice new clothes. We see the beautiful things that others have that we do not. Why is this so? Why are we more aware of what we now don't have rather than before we came?
I think the secret answer lies in the fact that we simply have no way of attaining these things (as opposed to the fact that in the past we simply CHOSE NOT to have these things). We are completely unable to have a car here. It's not an option for us. We have been told that we are not to drive here, so even if we did have a car, there would be no way for us to use it. Similarly, we cannot get our hands on nicer clothes or shoes. There really are none to be had. The shoes our kids need (which can withstand the rain, the hours of daily play, and the rough terrain that they walk on daily) are not made here. And the other things that we'd love to have are simply too far away--either two hours by bus or are back in the land we call home. In essence, the things we'd love to own are out of reach for us. For other missionaries here, not so much. But for us, they are out of the question.
Therefore, I have to say that this experience has really taught us what it's like to be poor. Now I'm not saying that we really are poor. Mind you, we still own a nice home and two cars in the states. We still have many possessions there. We are still funded here by the generous giving of our donors. But. We know what it's like to have the 'inability' to own nice things. We know that we cannot enjoy the things that others do. We have tasted the good life and we now know what it's like to have a longing for that.
Recently Doug and I therefore have noticed that we are sad for the loss of some of these things. (We do know that it's a temporary loss.) We are sad that it makes us turn inward and grumble and become less than contented. We've decided that these next three months need to be focused on what we do have--which is a far cry from what other missionaries have in the one direction--AND--which is a far cry from what the locals have in the other. We must spend our time being grateful and mindful that we have been blessed beyond measure to have had this experience and the wonderful opportunity to learn lesson upon lesson upon lesson.
Thanks so much for reading. I promise not to take so long between entries.
Blessings, kim
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Sunshine
Today is Friday. I cannot begin to tell you how wonderful it is to see the sun. Today, for the second day in a row, we have seen that mysterious ball in the sky appear to grant us a wonderful afternoon full of bright, warm air. Mind you, it rained all morning as usual. I think it's been nearly two months since I can recall seeing the sunshine with any great consistency.
Since early December we've had so much rain that we have regularly gotten caught unaware in a shower or downpour. And, because we walk or ride our bikes everywhere, this has been quite the problem. Just this past Monday when I was on my way to school, I'd traveled the first few hundred yards of the only half-mile trip when the rain began. I therefore sped all the more toward my destination but sadly by the time I arrived only about three or four minutes later, I was so wet that my hair was plastered to my face, my tan pants were see-through down the front of my legs, and my backpack was soaked. Should have worn a raincoat! I angrily spoke out loud my frustration: "Lord, I HATE the rain!"
Because we've had some time without clouds and can see in the distance, I was able to capture a photo of Sangay--one of our closest volcanos--smoldering in the afternoon sky. What a beautiful picture. Sadly, the clouds began rolling and obscured the view a tad.
Yet, when I looked over at El Altar, an even taller volcano and a tad bit closer, the view was nearly perfect.
Today, Saturday, we've now been without rain for nearly 30 hours straight--and we've actually had sunshine. This is a huge span of time without precipitation and I'm so grateful for it. The kids all played outside the entire time and Doug was able to take a bike ride with a friend. Since everyone was contented and with friends, I was able to attend to projects at home without distraction or sad faces that said, "Mom, there's nothing to do," which here may actually be the case.
Sunshine is enormously important. I will never take it for granted again. (As I type this it is lightening and thundering.)
Blessings, kim
)
Since early December we've had so much rain that we have regularly gotten caught unaware in a shower or downpour. And, because we walk or ride our bikes everywhere, this has been quite the problem. Just this past Monday when I was on my way to school, I'd traveled the first few hundred yards of the only half-mile trip when the rain began. I therefore sped all the more toward my destination but sadly by the time I arrived only about three or four minutes later, I was so wet that my hair was plastered to my face, my tan pants were see-through down the front of my legs, and my backpack was soaked. Should have worn a raincoat! I angrily spoke out loud my frustration: "Lord, I HATE the rain!"
Because we've had some time without clouds and can see in the distance, I was able to capture a photo of Sangay--one of our closest volcanos--smoldering in the afternoon sky. What a beautiful picture. Sadly, the clouds began rolling and obscured the view a tad.
Today, Saturday, we've now been without rain for nearly 30 hours straight--and we've actually had sunshine. This is a huge span of time without precipitation and I'm so grateful for it. The kids all played outside the entire time and Doug was able to take a bike ride with a friend. Since everyone was contented and with friends, I was able to attend to projects at home without distraction or sad faces that said, "Mom, there's nothing to do," which here may actually be the case.
Sunshine is enormously important. I will never take it for granted again. (As I type this it is lightening and thundering.)
Blessings, kim
)
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Grace
John the Baptist and Jesus both started their messages with "repent" because until we are faced with our own sinful nature we will in no way be willing to NEED or desire grace or mercy. It's not until one is in prison that they begin to ask for amnesty or release from blame. Until then we all live in denial that we've even done anything wrong. Or worse yet, we know that we are guilty but we try to hide from that fact from anyone who might notice. When the Lord finally shows us our sin, that's when we catch a glimpse of our poverty, or need, or desperation. That's when we see we need grace. That's when we finally become humble and contrite in spirit. One of the amazing things about Jesus is that He was humble already. No sin needed to be revealed in Him to get Him to that humility. We, however, are not that way. We are sinners through and through. He has to reveal our sin to us--otherwise we see no sin. We look at ourselves and see good deeds. In His attempts to show us the sin, we respond, "No thanks. I've got this. I'll get into your presence on my own. I'll come to you because I'm serving you and doing good things for you." When we react this way in our hearts, we're in essence saying, "I need no Jesus--He needs me."
What a huge difference, huh? When we say that we're not sinners and that we need no Savior, we go from being close to the Lord and humble and drawn into His kingdom, to being prideful and unwilling to let go of our sin. Remember, none of us is good. None.
Ask the Lord to show you your sin, and He'll gently show you a small fraction of what sinfulness you possess. He'll only reveal a tiny portion because you cannot handle the full revelation. It would destroy you. You'd be overwhelmed with the truth of just how sinful you are. But if you're patient and earnest in your asking, He'll begin to reveal a smidge to let you know:
1. that He's with you and heard your question.
2. that if you're truly ready, He'll open your eyes.
3. that if you want to, He'll reveal just how BIG He is and just how imperfect you are.
Beware, because if you begin this journey--really begin the journey of discovery--you will at times be overwhelmed with self disgust at how sinful you are, while truly seeing how amazing and powerful and sovereign God is. When you think about it, isn't that the way it should be? Shouldn't we all know that the God who created us IS amazing, powerful, and sovereign. If you believe in a God that's not, then why do you believe in Him? Why would you follow someone so pitiful while you are so amazing already?
THIS is the Christian life. To be a follower of Christ is to know Christ, not merely to do Christian things. When you walk with Jesus and seek His presence and His power and desire His view of people and of yourself, you'll crave to know the truth. You'll crave to know what He knows and to do what He does. Even if it means that you'll see your own shortcomings, failures, sins.
You'll know you've just begun the journey and that's honestly the most eye-opening and exciting relationship of your life. It's my prayer that everyone who reads this will courageously ask the Lord to reveal the sin in their heart. Then watch out--you're in for the ride of your life. I'll pray that you'll stay the course, truly be changed, and receive the crown of victory. For if Christ is in you and for you, then who can be against you?!
Thanks for reading and best wishes,
kim
What a huge difference, huh? When we say that we're not sinners and that we need no Savior, we go from being close to the Lord and humble and drawn into His kingdom, to being prideful and unwilling to let go of our sin. Remember, none of us is good. None.
Ask the Lord to show you your sin, and He'll gently show you a small fraction of what sinfulness you possess. He'll only reveal a tiny portion because you cannot handle the full revelation. It would destroy you. You'd be overwhelmed with the truth of just how sinful you are. But if you're patient and earnest in your asking, He'll begin to reveal a smidge to let you know:
1. that He's with you and heard your question.
2. that if you're truly ready, He'll open your eyes.
3. that if you want to, He'll reveal just how BIG He is and just how imperfect you are.
Beware, because if you begin this journey--really begin the journey of discovery--you will at times be overwhelmed with self disgust at how sinful you are, while truly seeing how amazing and powerful and sovereign God is. When you think about it, isn't that the way it should be? Shouldn't we all know that the God who created us IS amazing, powerful, and sovereign. If you believe in a God that's not, then why do you believe in Him? Why would you follow someone so pitiful while you are so amazing already?
THIS is the Christian life. To be a follower of Christ is to know Christ, not merely to do Christian things. When you walk with Jesus and seek His presence and His power and desire His view of people and of yourself, you'll crave to know the truth. You'll crave to know what He knows and to do what He does. Even if it means that you'll see your own shortcomings, failures, sins.
You'll know you've just begun the journey and that's honestly the most eye-opening and exciting relationship of your life. It's my prayer that everyone who reads this will courageously ask the Lord to reveal the sin in their heart. Then watch out--you're in for the ride of your life. I'll pray that you'll stay the course, truly be changed, and receive the crown of victory. For if Christ is in you and for you, then who can be against you?!
Thanks for reading and best wishes,
kim
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Blessings
I'm so sorry that I've not been very faithful in blogging over the past few weeks. It really is not my intention to let it go for so long. I do have a ton to say but finding the time and just the right message has been fairly difficult.
Life here has been a challenge in many ways but we were so blessed this week by three outstanding things. You see, we have a team of people currently here that have come from the States on a short-term mission trip. There are ten of them and they've flown here from the east coast--Pennsylvania/Delaware. Prior to their arrival they received packages from both my mom and Doug's mom. In these packages were some of the most simple things (pretzels, Planter's Peanuts, new socks, new t-shirts, gum, Texas Pecan coffee, instant creamer, hot chocolate packets, Tabasco, peanut butter, corn starch, nutmeg, oatmeal packets, Jolly Ranchers, and a few other wonderful things). Well, when they arrived they brought these packages with them and the six of us tore into the gifts and were excited. It really was just like Christmas. The kids also received some of their favorite card games and VeggieTales videos. I received a music CD for my classroom and Doug got an audio book. Two friends, Darleen and Irene also sent some books that are just the kind of reading material that I was looking for. Since we have no television and spotty internet and rainy weather often, these things have already blessed us richly.
The other thing that we loved was the meals out that the team has treated us to. We had pizza together one evening and they generously picked up the tab and even took us out for soft serve ice cream thereafter. What an amazing thing. On another night they had Chinese food sent to our house! Then, last night they hosted a big community event where they served hot dogs and s'mores.
The topper though is this one: This team brought with them suitcases full of toys for the missionary kids in our community. There are about thirty kids so this is no small feat. They brought board games, skate boards, Nerf guns, electronic helicopters, stuffed animals, and all sorts of other very kid-friendly gifts. All the missionary kids' names went into a hat and then were drawn out so that the kids could choose their gift. All the parents watched as this process played out and we couldn't believe the kindness that was being shown our kids. Well, when our kids' names were toward the bottom of the line I couldn't help but feel for them as they watched others choose something that I knew that they had wanted. I was so encouraged though when they chose from what was left with grateful hearts and excitement. All of our kids were notably excited about this opportunity.
Well, at the end of the process when the last child had chosen her gift, the group leader announced the results of a vote that the kids has apparently conducted earlier in the evening. The group had asked the kids to choose four from their midst who were the epitome of Christ-likeness, kindness, and generosity toward others. These four kids were to receive an additional gift. In anticipation of this announcement I had reminded myself not to get my hopes up and I knew genuine happiness for the winners would be the right response out of not only myself but also out of my family members. Well, when the second child named was 'Jacobey', I cried out and jumped up and down as if I'd just won the Miss America contest. I was enormously proud of my son--my son who has been ridiculed greatly by a number of kids and who I have had to walk this long, long road with. This is the same son that I constantly am having to remind to be of good courage to do the right thing even when others do not. The son who reported to me that he thought he couldn't make it here another five months.
When Jacobey came to me at the conclusion of the evening just a matter of five minutes later, he and I embraced in a flood of tears. We were both in shock and profoundly impacted by what had just taken place. We felt that his good, but very hard choices, had paid off and that he knew that even though some of the kids may not like him, at least a portion of them appreciated his ways.
Today we're still processing this event. We're still amazed at how things have turned out and we're still really grateful for this little blessing.
Praise God for sweet gifts of kindness in the most surprising ways.
Thanks for reading,
Blessings, kim
Life here has been a challenge in many ways but we were so blessed this week by three outstanding things. You see, we have a team of people currently here that have come from the States on a short-term mission trip. There are ten of them and they've flown here from the east coast--Pennsylvania/Delaware. Prior to their arrival they received packages from both my mom and Doug's mom. In these packages were some of the most simple things (pretzels, Planter's Peanuts, new socks, new t-shirts, gum, Texas Pecan coffee, instant creamer, hot chocolate packets, Tabasco, peanut butter, corn starch, nutmeg, oatmeal packets, Jolly Ranchers, and a few other wonderful things). Well, when they arrived they brought these packages with them and the six of us tore into the gifts and were excited. It really was just like Christmas. The kids also received some of their favorite card games and VeggieTales videos. I received a music CD for my classroom and Doug got an audio book. Two friends, Darleen and Irene also sent some books that are just the kind of reading material that I was looking for. Since we have no television and spotty internet and rainy weather often, these things have already blessed us richly.
The other thing that we loved was the meals out that the team has treated us to. We had pizza together one evening and they generously picked up the tab and even took us out for soft serve ice cream thereafter. What an amazing thing. On another night they had Chinese food sent to our house! Then, last night they hosted a big community event where they served hot dogs and s'mores.
The topper though is this one: This team brought with them suitcases full of toys for the missionary kids in our community. There are about thirty kids so this is no small feat. They brought board games, skate boards, Nerf guns, electronic helicopters, stuffed animals, and all sorts of other very kid-friendly gifts. All the missionary kids' names went into a hat and then were drawn out so that the kids could choose their gift. All the parents watched as this process played out and we couldn't believe the kindness that was being shown our kids. Well, when our kids' names were toward the bottom of the line I couldn't help but feel for them as they watched others choose something that I knew that they had wanted. I was so encouraged though when they chose from what was left with grateful hearts and excitement. All of our kids were notably excited about this opportunity.
Well, at the end of the process when the last child had chosen her gift, the group leader announced the results of a vote that the kids has apparently conducted earlier in the evening. The group had asked the kids to choose four from their midst who were the epitome of Christ-likeness, kindness, and generosity toward others. These four kids were to receive an additional gift. In anticipation of this announcement I had reminded myself not to get my hopes up and I knew genuine happiness for the winners would be the right response out of not only myself but also out of my family members. Well, when the second child named was 'Jacobey', I cried out and jumped up and down as if I'd just won the Miss America contest. I was enormously proud of my son--my son who has been ridiculed greatly by a number of kids and who I have had to walk this long, long road with. This is the same son that I constantly am having to remind to be of good courage to do the right thing even when others do not. The son who reported to me that he thought he couldn't make it here another five months.
When Jacobey came to me at the conclusion of the evening just a matter of five minutes later, he and I embraced in a flood of tears. We were both in shock and profoundly impacted by what had just taken place. We felt that his good, but very hard choices, had paid off and that he knew that even though some of the kids may not like him, at least a portion of them appreciated his ways.
Today we're still processing this event. We're still amazed at how things have turned out and we're still really grateful for this little blessing.
Praise God for sweet gifts of kindness in the most surprising ways.
Thanks for reading,
Blessings, kim
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Sacrifices
There are numerous things that we've had to leave behind when coming to Ecuador. Some of them are profound, others are fairly simply and almost frivolous. Yet, all have been eliminated from our daily life and therefore we miss them greatly.
My cousin's wedding
My Granny's 90th birthday
Our family members
Our neighbors
Our English-speaking church
American coffee
salad dressing
fast food
Chick-fil-A
pizza with marinara
sushi
black pepper
jalapenos
pretzels
Christmas décor and celebrations
real Christmas trees
quality made shoes
coffee shops
book stores
a car!!!!!
cold weather
sunshine
cheap postage
grocery stores
pudding
Lowrey's Season Salt
pecans
bagels
turkey bacon
buffets
Blue Bell Ice Cream
pickles
warm swimming pools
a salary
sea food
grilling
our house
Target
fenders on back bicycle tires which prevent one from wearing mud on his back all day
a garage
power tools
a quality mixer
taking drinking water from the tap
straight roads
fruits and veggies that don't need to be soaked
streets free from stay dogs and their poop
cold milk
thick yogurt
a variety of cheeses
quality q-tips
purchasing pork without seeing the hooves or snout as an option
buying a chicken without asking to have the head and feet cut off
quality umbrellas
addresses on buildings
a home phone for receiving local calls
television
kolaches
Mexican food
did we mention a car??!!!
These are just some of the things we miss and will enjoy profoundly when we return. Enjoy them on our behalf in the interim.
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim
My cousin's wedding
My Granny's 90th birthday
Our family members
Our neighbors
Our English-speaking church
American coffee
salad dressing
fast food
Chick-fil-A
pizza with marinara
sushi
black pepper
jalapenos
pretzels
Christmas décor and celebrations
real Christmas trees
quality made shoes
coffee shops
book stores
a car!!!!!
cold weather
sunshine
cheap postage
grocery stores
pudding
Lowrey's Season Salt
pecans
bagels
turkey bacon
buffets
Blue Bell Ice Cream
pickles
warm swimming pools
a salary
sea food
grilling
our house
Target
fenders on back bicycle tires which prevent one from wearing mud on his back all day
a garage
power tools
a quality mixer
taking drinking water from the tap
straight roads
fruits and veggies that don't need to be soaked
streets free from stay dogs and their poop
cold milk
thick yogurt
a variety of cheeses
quality q-tips
purchasing pork without seeing the hooves or snout as an option
buying a chicken without asking to have the head and feet cut off
quality umbrellas
addresses on buildings
a home phone for receiving local calls
television
kolaches
Mexican food
did we mention a car??!!!
These are just some of the things we miss and will enjoy profoundly when we return. Enjoy them on our behalf in the interim.
Thanks for reading.
Blessings, kim
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